


I Am Yours Now

by Space_and_Thyme



Category: Party Animals (TV), Political Animals
Genre: Danny is bisexual, First chapter contains smut, I recognize that I'm the only one shipping this pairing, M/M, Mentions of Casual Sex, Mentions of Drug Abuse and Alcoholism, One Night Stand, PTSD, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, TJ is a mess, brief mentions of Sean Reeves, but they would be perfect together - but not without work and effort, it starts as smut but becomes a love story I swear, mentions of past Kirsty/Danny, past abusive relationships, they'd be so good for each other though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-16 12:05:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_and_Thyme/pseuds/Space_and_Thyme
Summary: Elaine Barrish has just been elected into her second term as President of the United States. No longer able to take the strain of both his family and his reputation, TJ Hammond has picked up his life in America and removed himself to the UK - London specifically. His life has been a series of highs and lows - mostly lows. Until fate (or too much alcohol and a bit of confidence) brings TJ into the life of Danny Foster, and suddenly the way TJ's lived his life for the last twenty years no longer makes sense.In fact, nothing makes sense any more.Will they find what they need in each other?





	1. Chapter 1

Two weeks in a row, Danny had come to the pub 4 times a week. He wasn't an alcoholic (well, _he_ didn't think so), but the food was decent and by the end of the long days, he had zero desire to cook for himself. This was not out of the normal, it happened every time there was an election called – it meant that he was working the strangest hours – at the very whim of his employers. He had to be _available_ at all times. He'd only managed to get into the pub to get a cheap order of fish and chips, or a half-assed burger, after 10 pm most of those nights.

 

Sometimes he truly hated working for the Government of the United Kingdom.

 

During the third week of this pattern, his appearances at St. Stephen's became nightly, rather than _nearly-nightly_ as they had been. It had nothing to do with the cute stranger – he swore.

 

Three weeks prior,  Danny noticed a bit of a crowd gathered in St. Stephen’s Tavern – they'd been circled around a couple of tables that had been pushed together – it wasn't strange to see people gathering like that, often parties came in here. What he wasn't expecting though, was the fact that rather than talking amongst themselves, they seemed to be all focused on a man in the middle. He'd paid the man no mind, and went about ordering himself a beer and some sort of meal – he honestly didn't remember what it was by the time he'd finished eating it. He'd been too tired.

 

Bloody hell, at thirty six years old, he was too old to be working in this position within parliament. He should have left this posting behind at least six years prior, but beggars couldn't be choosers, and despite his qualifications and his education, there wasn't much else that he could _do._ So, at least for now (he hoped just for now) Daniel Foster was stuck being a glorified errand boy.

 

He spotted the man again the next time he came into the pub – this time Danny was there first, a rare miracle of being released before 9pm on a Friday night. The man was alone, and cut an attractive figure on his own – _'where did that come from?'_ Danny thought to himself. Man, he really _was_ tired.

 

The first thing that Danny noticed about the man, was the black leather jacket with the Gianni Versace emblem anchored into the upper sleeve. It was obviously quality – _expensive –_ as the leather moved like water as it draped over the man's shoulders. The second thing Danny noticed was his stature – he was tall, though not overtly so, and his shoulders were broad. His hair was dark, and fluffy.

 

Danny was absolutely _not_ looking at him. Why on earth _would_ he be looking?

 

He was in there every time Danny came in. After two weeks of spotting the cute stranger, Danny did his best to ignore the strange and slightly guilt-inducing feeling that crept over him every time he saw him. By the third week, he made the executive decision to go every night, in hopes of seeing the man a little more often.

 

Danny admitted this to no one, not even himself.

 

The next thing that Danny noticed, was the sharp jawline and cleft chin, dusted by a dark five o'clock shadow that only enhanced his features.

 

He was attractive, and Danny found it a strange thing to admit to himself. It was an _aesthetic_ attraction of course, it went no further than that. Danny did _not_ notice how his nose crinkled as he laughed, or how the little lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes gave him a warm expression, even as his laugh filled the immediate part of the room.

 

By the third week, Danny didn't care why the sight of the attractive stranger made him feel better. He was too tired and drawn out to care – after the election, after the hell he was going through at work, was completed... _then_ he would think about it.

 

Surely it was just the aesthetics. Danny was straight, though his last relationship had ended nearly six years earlier – and _badly_ at that. He had wanted Kirsty, had truly cared for her – but being with her was toxic. She tried, for a while, to be the good match that Danny deserved, but she couldn't do it – she couldn't be that person. Eventually the resentment bred and grew. By the end, Danny was nothing but garbage in her eyes – garbage that had wasted five years of her life.

 

To think that he had almost married Kirsty. To think that that had been something he had longed for, years ago.

 

Danny hadn't been the same since, to be honest. He had had no real interest in most people before Kirsty – despite being able to manipulate circumstances to his favour, he was still shy. The lasting effects of growing up as the youngest Foster son, always in the shadow of his brother, Scott.

 

Friday night. He knew he had to be at least _partially_ available the next morning – there was never any telling when a scandal might break loose and require quick thinking and effective speech writing to be contained. But, he just wanted to break free of his little rut.

 

His shoulders were aching from sitting too long, hunched over, in front of a laptop in order to quickly turn the most abstract of his employer's thoughts into flowing, professional, _bullshit_ to be read on the news. His body was thrumming from exhaustion, but it didn't matter. As long as he could get home and fall into his bed for at least six hours, he'd _probably_ be fine.

 

And, if he looked a little too wistfully at the man in the black leather Versace jacket, sitting six meters away from him, well, who was going to say anything?

 

TJ was alone tonight – he was meant to be meeting _Greg_ at the pub, before they headed back to his place. But, the moron never showed. Well, TJ could do better than Greg anyway – it wasn't as though he had any drought in prospects. Still, he'd thought Greg had been a sure thing, so it irritated TJ that he'd been left hanging.

 

Well, St. Stephen’s probably wasn't the best place to pick up a guy for the night – not that there was a shortage of men, but most of them were honestly over the age of Fifty. They reminded TJ of his father and – _'Nope. Stopping that thought right the fuck there.'_ He shuddered, and immediately lifted the glass of bourbon, neat, to his lips – taking a swig of it with a forced, though practiced, smile as it burned its way down his throat.

 

In ten minutes he was going to leave the pub – just as soon as he was finished with his third glass of whisky. He was going to leave, and he was going get on the subway, find a nightclub, or a gay bar – _something_ \- and he was going to enjoy himself. He was going to enjoy himself by finding someone that would take him home for the night and fuck the tension out of shoulders.

 

TJ knocked back the last of the amber liquid, and set the glass on the table top. He moved to get up, but his eye caught on the figure of a man sitting alone at a table some twenty feet away.

 

Him again – the young man (probably TJ's age?) with the shaggy brown hair that was constantly dishevelled as though he spent his entire life running his fingers through it, and the slightly ill-fitting suit that, while decent, did nothing to compliment his figure. That man was looking at him again, shyly, from behind dark rimmed glasses. TJ was _certain_ that the man didn't realize he was doing it – or that the look upon his face was so _longing._

_'Well, maybe this place_ does _have something to offer after all...'_ TJ pushed himself up from the table, and made a bold move. If he was wrong, well, he was wrong. If not...

 

Danny's hazel eyes widened a little as he realized the gorgeous man had spotted him. Swallowing tightly as a pink blush flooded into his cheeks, he tried to look down and away as the man wove his way through the crowd of chairs and standing patrons. He tried not to notice that he was heading straight for him, or the way that he swayed his hips to easily step around even those people that suddenly moved into his pathway.

 

He didn't need an invitation – the wistful look in the man's eyes for the last _three weeks_ was enough of an invitation to TJ. How long had it been since anyone had _really_ looked at him like that? He couldn't remember. TJ shot a foot under the chair across from Danny, and hooking it under the rung at the bottom, slid the chair out for himself. He dropped himself into it with a positively predatory grin spreading itself across his face. Danny was sitting there, absolutely frozen and wide-eyed, and TJ absolutely _loved_ it.

 

Reaching out, TJ grabbed Danny's mostly untouched glass of beer. It was warm – he would never understand why the Brits liked it this way (it tasted like piss!), but to each their own – and he brought it to his lips, keeping his eyes locked with Danny's as he took a mouthful. He raised his brows in an obviously taunting manner as he drank – a smirk still evident on his lips.

 

Danny's heart was beating so loudly that the world seemed to contain no other sound.

 

He had to be dreaming. The cute stranger _didn't_ just come and sit with him – and he _certainly_ wasn't drinking his beer. Was he?

 

Danny couldn't move – his eyes locked on the stranger's.

 

The next thing that Danny noticed about him, was that his eyes were the most fascinating shade of pale slate-grey – like winter ice.

 

TJ took a long drink from the glass of beer – and oh, he was going to regret mixing alcohols in the morning. But, that was a problem for the morning. He set the glass back on the table; the beer foam was clinging to his pink lips. Danny couldn’t stop his eyes from dropping to TJ’s mouth. TJ licked the foam away, and Danny suddenly jerked out of his trance.

 

He twitched so violently, that his hand collided with the beer glass on the table – knocking it over and cascading the remaining golden liquid across the table. Gasping, he flailed for a moment and quickly grabbed the glass back up as he tried to quickly mop up the spilled beer with a few bar napkins.

 

TJ watched him, eyes lit-up with amusement and a barely contained smile. Oh, he _liked_ this man.

 

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t ruin your clothing, did I?” Danny blurted out, still trying to mop up the beer.

 

TJ quirked a mischievous brow as his eyes glimmered with mirth and alcohol. “Not _yet,_ Sweetheart.”

 

Danny turned a brilliant shade of cherise; his face was flushed and his ears burning.  He stammered, his brain trying to get passed the obvious innuendo. He finally swallowed tightly around the lump in his throat. “You’re… You’re … I mean I didn’t _expect_ –“

 

“Spit it out, _Kingsman_.” TJ teased as he leaned forward in the seat.

 

Danny’s cheeks were still burning. “You’re American…” his voice seemed to fall flat.

 

“I am, yeah.” TJ nodded his head just once. “Name’s TJ…” he purposely left _‘Hammond’_ off, to hang in the air. Surely Danny recognized him anyway – everyone _always_ did it… and it was a hell of a burden sometimes. He held out his hand for Danny.

 

Danny’s hazel eyes flickered between TJ’s face and his extended hand, before returning to those bright grey eyes. He swallowed again, and took TJ’s hand, shaking it gently, but firmly. “Dani—“ he paused, and pushed the thought aside. “ _Danny_ Foster…”

 

“Nice to meet you, Danny Foster.” TJ’s voice was low, a gravelly tone that _somehow_ possessed a silk-like smoothness that sent a shiver of attraction through Danny’s shoulders.

 

Danny cleared his throat slightly, as he tore his gaze away from TJ’s eyes – certain that the man could see right through him with little effort. “Lovely too meet you, too…” his own slightly nasal tone bordered on flinty. “I’m… I’m sorry … for the mess I mean.” He quickly gestured to the table once more – and swore under his breath as he very nearly knocked the beer glass over again.

 

TJ’s laugh was vibrant, and warm – and Danny didn’t get the feeling that the man was laughing maliciously at him, but rather reacting with amusement to his flailings.

 

“I should… probably stop moving.” He half-laughed, self-deprecatingly as he folded his hands together to keep himself from talking with them and risking another spill.

 

“Do I startle you?” TJ purred as he focused on Danny.

 

Danny shook his head, his dark fringe bobbing slightly with the movement. “Not startled, just – “ he paused for a moment as he tried to puzzle out the next statement.

 

_‘Increase my heart rate? Look like sex on legs? Give me gay panic? Make me question everything I am and ever have been because you’re so bloody gorgeous?’_ Danny thought to himself, and pushed aside each of those possible answers.

 

“I wasn’t exactly present when you came over.”

 

“ _You_ were staring at me.” TJ grinned, and licked at one sharp canine tooth as he focused on Danny like leopard waiting to pounce.

 

“Was I?” Danny’s voice cracked slightly, a squeak, as he tried to play it off as though he wasn’t intimately aware that he’d been looking at the American across the room.

 

“For _three weeks,_ Danny-boy.” TJ sat back in the chair, folding his arms over his chest. “Don’t even _try_ to say you weren’t. I know you’ve been checking me out.”

 

Danny swallowed tightly and groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I’m so sorry.” His voice was somewhat muffled by his posture.

 

“I don’t know… I think you should _prove_ to me that you’re _really_ sorry.” TJ rumbled, and his voice sent another shiver down Danny’s spine. “Let me buy you a drink to replace that warm piss of a beer you knocked over.”

 

Danny peeked up from between his fingers, and noted that TJ was smirking at him. He almost felt like he had to argue. “Oi! That’s the _proper_ way to drink lager, unlike the travesty you  _Americans_ do – _cold_ lager!”

 

TJ spoke as he pouted as visibly as he could. “So _passionate_ about _beer_.” and Danny knew he was teasing him. “But if piss warm is what you _like,_ Danny-boy, piss warm beer is what I’ll get you.” Without waiting for Danny’s response, TJ turned to look at the bar, and lifted a hand flagging a bartender, before he pointed at the nearly empty beer glass.

 

The bartender nodded his understanding, and a moment later another tall glass of draft lager was set in front of Danny. TJ handed the server a £20 note, and waved her off. It was _drastically_ more than the glass of beer was worth, but he didn’t care. Call it a tip for the bartender and server alike.

 

Danny sputtered in surprise, “You didn’t have to-“

 

“Well, if it wasn’t for _me_ , you’d still have the first glass. So why don’t you enjoy that one, on me, and maybe we can end the night _on me…_ ” there was no missing the meaning there.

 

“I – I’m not… I’m not…” Danny didn’t know how to finish that statement.

 

He’d thought all his life he was _straight_. Would have staked money on it. But… after the disaster that was his relationship with Kirsty, there’d been no one. He’d not been interested. There’d been really no one that caught his eye – _until_ TJ appeared. And now Danny was seriously questioning everything that he knew about himself.

 

His face was burning, and he _knew_ he must be as red as a tomatoe… but he also couldn’t deny that for the last few weeks he’d been watching, and silently longing to even just _talk_ to TJ. And the deep rumble of his voice, only made the ache of desire in Danny’s chest tighten a little more.

 

He had to change tactics, if he was ever going to answer TJ’s implication.

 

“You’re… I mean… you’re… “ Danny gestured between them, inarticulately. Thankfully he held onto the beer glass with his other hand, to keep from knocking the second beer over.

 

TJ sighed out a long exhale, rife with irritation, and it caught Danny off guard. “TJ Hammond, yeah…”

 

Danny’s pale brows furrowed together as he looked at TJ across the table from him. Obviously the name’s revelation meant _something_ to TJ, but it had no meaning to _him_. “Who?” Danny blinked, his face bearing an obvious look of confusion.

 

TJ stared at him for a long moment. “TJ Hammond…” he tried again, not willing to explain himself, but hoping Danny picked it up without him needing to say it.

 

The name meant literally _nothing_ to Danny. He shrugged his shoulders as he shook his head.

 

“You _really_ don’t know who I am?” TJ perked up, the bravado and sexual charm discarded for just a moment as he leaned forward in his chair – locking eyes with Danny.

 

Danny shook his head again, “Sorry, not a clue…” the pink blush bloomed on his cheeks again.

 

Oh, this was _perfection_.

 

“You know what? Never mind…” TJ grinned and banged his hands lightly on the table in a short drumbeat, before sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and leaning back as he grinned – still biting his lip.

 

Danny blinked a moment, but pushed the strange conversation out of his mind. “I… are you…”

 

“ _Interested?_ ” TJ purred, raking his eyes over Danny – answering the man with a question of his own as he gestured to himself minutely.

 

“Yes.” Danny’s traitorous voice answered before he had time to think it through.

 

This man sitting across from him, was the definition of beauty which Danny did not realize he’d defined. All lean but strong muscle, visible even under the black leather jacket and the grey t-shirt that pulled over TJ’s dense pectorals. Grey eyes framed by dark lashes, dark chestnut hair and a five o’clock shadow that traced his sharp jaw-line. Pink lips that curled into a smirk at the corners, and a perfectly dimpled chin – the only word that kept coming to Danny’s mind, repeating itself unbidden, was _Adonis_ …

 

Danny closed his eyes and hissed out a curse against himself. TJ laughed good-naturedly.

 

“Then you’d better hop to and drink up.”

 

Danny finished the beer a little faster than he should have, given that it was a full pint. He couldn’t help it – drinking every time he grew nervous, even as TJ was talking to him.

 

He didn’t remember half of the conversation – he _was_ trying to pay attention, but his mind was buzzing with barely contained anxiety (or was it just excitement?), alcohol (the pint that he’d knocked over in front of TJ had not been the first one he’d ordered that night), and lust. Though, he did remember one key exchange.

 

“Ease up, soldier, or I might have to carry you to a cab.” TJ threw his head back as he laughed.

 

Danny shook his head, “I’m 68 kilos…”

 

TJ grinned that predatory, feline, grin again. He flashed his canines. “Oh, _believe_ me, Danny… I can lift you _easily_.”

 

By the time they piled into the back of cab, Danny was pleasantly buzzed – the alcohol coursing through his veins dulled the sense of embarrassment and guilt. Still, he was shy to a degree – this _Prince_ was coming home with him – and Danny had no illusions to what TJ wanted with him. But he couldn’t deny that he wanted TJ badly – _badly_.

 

As TJ crawled into the cab after Danny, he settled to the right of Danny. The back of the taxi was blessedly dark – and it was a good thing too, for what he had planned. As Danny fixed his posture in the plush upholstered seat and gave the driver his address, TJ reached and laid his hand over Danny’s right knee. Squeezing gently, he slowly drew his hand backward – skimming up the muscle under the suit trousers Danny was wearing. Danny gasped softly as TJ’s hand finally stilled on his upper thigh.

 

TJ leaned in as the car merged into traffic. His warm breath was on Danny’s ear as he murmured softly. “Stay _quiet_.” Danny bit his lip hard, and nodded to keep himself from reacting. Smirking, TJ tilted his head and his tongue darted out; he licked a soft stripe over the sensitive spot behind Danny’s ear. Danny clenched his jaw to stop himself from making a sound of surprised pleasure – the punishing bite of TJ’s fingers in his thigh was warning enough.

 

The ten minute drive back to Danny’s flat was torture. Forced to keep quiet so he didn’t tip off the driver, Danny clenched his jaw and balled his fists as TJ squeezed his thigh and trailed his tongue over his adam’s apple, and over the soft skin under his chin and jaw. TJ shifted, moments before the cab pulled up outside of Danny’s apartment, and released the man’s thigh. Lifting his hand, he cupped Danny’s jaw, and slowly turned his face towards his own in the darkness – illuminated only by the glow of the street lamps.

 

TJ pulled Danny into a kiss – the first one of the night. He hummed softly at the feeling of Danny’s lips pressed against his. He pressed on, deftly licking at the seam of Danny’s lips until he could no longer deny TJ. As Danny parted his lips in the kiss, TJ drew Danny’s bottom lip between his; nipping sharply at the flesh.

 

Danny instantly moaned in pleasure – but it was lost as the driver of the cab pulled up outside the apartment building and read out the cost of the fare.

 

Jerking back from TJ, Danny briefly lost control of his limbs – surprised and lust-addled. He thrust the fare money into the driver’s hand, before he opened the taxi door and all but fell out of the car. Behind him TJ was chuckling soft. Danny couldn’t help it, his legs were jellied, and to be honest… he was clumsy at the best of times anyway. Catching himself, he scrambled upright and pulled his keys out of his pocket as TJ slid out of the taxi behind him.

 

All he had to do, was get them into the building and up to his flat.

 

Danny’s hands were trembling – the keys jingling in his hand as he attempted to find the one that opened the front door of his flat. It didn’t help that TJ was standing directly behind him, left arm looped around Danny’s waist with his hand pressed to his lower abdomen, dragging him back against TJ’s front. His breath was hot on the back of Danny’s neck, and it took everything Danny had to finally unlock the door. He felt TJ’s expression slowly pull into a grin as his lips brushed against the sensitive spot just under Danny’s ear again.

 

TJ pulled away from Danny, suddenly, and the man glanced over his shoulder at him as he pushed the painted red door open. The predatory grin was back on TJ’s face, as his eyes flashed dangerously bright. Putting his hand between Danny’s shoulder blades, he gave a little push and thrust Danny, stumbling, into the apartment.

 

Inside the flat, TJ closed the door with a loud _thud!_ Behind his back as he grabbed Danny’s loosened tie; wrapping the silk around his fist with a roll or two of his wrist. He jerked his arm, pulling Danny against him as he pressed a fierce kiss to his lips. Danny half-gasped in surprise, his eyes widening as his glasses were knocked askew by the ferocity and suddenness of the kiss; he flailed for a moment, before the warmth and insistence of TJ’s mouth against his broke apart his senses; eyes instantly sliding shut. One hand found TJ’s hip – gripping tightly against the stiff denim of his charcoal wash jeans, while the other knotted itself in the fabric of TJ’s shirt. He felt the man grin, briefly, against his lips, even as he knocked TJ’s head back against the door with a soft _bump!_

 

TJ’s free hand slid up Danny’s chest, and into his hair; gripping tightly at the back of Danny’s skull. He dragged Danny’s head back and exposed the long column of his throat, as he lightly rolled his hips forward – knocking Danny back half a step from him. Panting slightly and with a fire in his eyes that seemed to burn Danny down to his very bones, TJ grinned like the cat who caught the canary. “I’m not going to _fuck you_ against the door.”

 

The wave of Adrenalin that crashed through Danny at the sound of those words in that gravel-soft voice, made his entire body shiver. He let out an involuntary gasp of arousal; his pupils blown wide, darkening his hazel eyes. He swallowed tightly, easing his grip on TJ, as the man’s hands released his hair and his tie, before lying flat on Danny’s sternum. Danny barely had a second to glance down at that hand, before TJ gave him another small shove backward as he pushed himself away from the closed front door.

 

He didn’t know what to do; stepping back slightly even as TJ stalked forward licking one sharp canine. Danny swallowed tightly, his mind was blank with want; his blood running hot as his gaze settled on TJ’s pink lips – slightly swollen from the ferocity of that last kiss.

 

All he knew was that he wanted TJ. It didn’t make any sense, but it didn’t have to. Desperation made him bold, bold enough to interrupt TJ’s practiced prowl. One hand darting out, Danny cupped the back of TJ’s neck and drew him into another kiss. His fingertips bit into the knotted muscle in the back of TJ’s neck – where he seemed to carry the most of his stress – even as he felt the tension start to melt, and TJ moaned softly into the kiss. Danny could feel it rumbling into his mouth, as his free hand pushed the supple black leather off of TJ’s broad shoulders.

 

TJ shrugged the jacket to the floor with a quick move of his shoulders; he heard it crumple to the floor behind him, before he grabbed Danny by his hips, fingers biting in as firmly as Danny’s had on the back of his neck. As Danny pulled back, desperately trying to catch his breath, TJ lowered his face and started pressing biting kisses onto Danny’s throat. His teeth sank into his pulse-point slowly, the pressure enough to make Danny groan with desire as he shrugged off his ill-fitting blazer.

 

TJ shifted his stance slightly, slipping his right foot between Danny’s feet as he pushed closer. The change of balance allowed his right hip to press against the front of Danny’s trousers – Danny jolted slightly, swallowing a gasp as he dragged his fingers over TJ’s shoulders. If he was being honest, he’d been half hard from the moment TJ plonked himself down at Danny’s table, and the man’s warm and firm grip on his thigh the entire taxi ride back to his apartment had done _nothing_ to help. TJ sucked a dark bruise against the hollow of Danny’s throat, even as he felt Danny’s erection twitch in interest against the light press of his hip. Danny’s hand dragging through his hair and scratching lightly at TJ’s scalp was the last straw.

 

He dragged himself back from Danny’s throat, even as the man was panting and murmuring something unintelligible. His heart was thumping in his breast with excitement as his hips swayed slightly on their own; grinding his own erection against Danny’s pelvis even through the layers of denim and suiting wool.  “Bedroom. _Now._ ”

 

Danny swallowed and nodded through the fog of lust. He was sweating a thin sheen, as he stepped back from TJ. He turned, almost mechanically, and started to lead TJ through the flat towards his waiting bedroom. He stumbled slightly, his feet barely co-operating. Catching himself, he found TJ’s hand behind himself without looking; slipping his fingers into TJ’s absentmindedly.

 

If TJ was caught off guard by the intimate little action, he kept it to himself, following Danny into the bedroom of the flat.

 

Passed his bedroom door, Danny’s nerve started to waver. He swallowed tightly, and turned to face TJ. It had been six years since Kirsty left him. In that time he’d stayed away from dating - his heart not in it. And, besides for TJ, he was not the sort that brought strangers home. _Six years_.

 

TJ seemed to notice Danny’s resolve wavering, and he took control over the situation again. With the way Danny had been staring at him, had brought him home with him, had kissed him fiercely and had clawed at him, TJ had no fear of Danny not wanting him. He saw the overwhelming desire in Danny’s hazel eyes, but he saw the fear as well. TJ shrugged it off. He could get Danny passed this.

 

Stepping around Danny, TJ crossed his arms over his torso and pulled his grey burnout tee off over his head as he turned to face him. He dropped his shirt onto the bedroom floor and kicked off his shoes as he stepped backwards towards the middle of the mattress; his eyes locked on Danny’s with an intensity that sent the shivers racing along Danny’s spine again. Satisfied that he had Danny’s undivided attention, he lowered himself onto the bed, sitting on his knees as he reached out a beckoning hand for Danny.

 

It was all that Danny could do for a moment – staring in awe at the man in front of him. Divested of the soft tee that had pulled slightly over his pectorals, TJ was … more than Danny had expected. Softly tanned flesh covering well-developed and strong muscles – all broad shoulders and moderately heavy biceps, Danny suddenly no longer doubted TJ was telling the truth when he’d said he could easily carry him. He swallowed tightly, eyes raking over TJ’s defined abs, and followed the Adonis lines as they disappeared beneath the charcoal coloured denim. A small silver key shaped pendant glittered in the low light of the bedroom as it hung on a silver chain near TJ’s heart.

 

Smirking at the captivated look on Danny’s ridiculous face, TJ leaned forward and grabbed his hand, forcibly pulling Danny onto the mattress with him. “Enough staring.” He rumbled softly in Danny’s ear, his lips brushing against the shell as his breath warmed Danny’s skin.

 

“Can’t help it.” Danny murmured back, squeezing TJ’s hand slightly. “Do you _know_ how gorgeous you are?” the words left his lips before he even had time to consider them. He lifted his free right hand and skimmed it up TJ’s strong chest, before brushing his thumb gently up his neck so he could cradle his jaw as he pulled TJ into another kiss. This one was different; long and slow – the languid slide of lips and tongues.

 

TJ tasted like the bourbon he’d drank earlier in the night. His hand lifted, softly – even tentatively – brushing his fingertips against Danny’s cheek, before cradling the man’s jaw as he cradled his. Danny’s thumb brushed delicately over the peak of TJ’s cheekbone. TJ made a soft moan of pleasure against Danny’s lips. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had kissed him so sweetly, so worshipfully.

 

Danny drew back, parting from TJ’s pink lips as his thumb continued to gently caress his cheek. With his hand cupping the back of TJ’s neck, Danny leaned in, brushing his lips against TJ’s throat. Gentle little half-kisses, like the flutters of a butterfly, and he had TJ moaning softly in pleasure as he tilted his head back to open his throat for Danny.

 

The apprehension was gone; the tiny sounds of pleasure and desire that he was wringing from TJ only strengthened his resolve. Six years be damned. Danny released TJ’s right hand, trailing his left to the man’s right hip. He drew TJ’s pelvis lightly towards himself, putting the man out of balance, before he pressed his weight forward into his attention on his throat. TJ fell back slowly, guided and supported by Danny’s hand on his hip, and his own strong thighs keeping him from collapsing. Danny settled into the v of TJ’s parted knees as he leaned into him. At this close proximity TJ was flooding his senses; the heat of his flesh under his hand and his lips, the quiet little gasped moans of pleasure, and the all-consuming scent of his cologne. Pressed this close, it was the slight overtone of Amaretto as the heat of TJ’s body enhanced the fragrant note that struck him first. The cool and clear, masculine, blended scents of sandalwood and cedar – like the forest mist after rain – the musk of TJ’s sweat laid over it all. It was delicious, and clear.

 

Danny couldn’t help but lick a tender stripe up the side of TJ’s neck, starting from the hollow at the base of his throat.

 

TJ’s eyes snapped open as he snorted in surprise. He took control back, firmly gripping the fabric of Danny’s button down shirt, and tugging the tails free from his trousers. In a swift motion, he grabbed either side of the hem, and ripped the shirt open; the fabric tore audibly, and sent the buttons clattering to the hardwood floor in a rain of plastic. The moment Danny’s shirt was open, TJ’s fingers moved down, opening up Danny’s suit trousers as the man shrugged off the ripped remnants of his shirt.

 

TJ pulled him down into another kiss – this one fierce and bruising – while he trailed two knuckles lightly over the hard bulge in Danny’s trousers. Danny shuddered into the kiss; his erection throbbed at the brush of TJ’s fingers.

 

Danny’s hands fell to TJ’s hips as he pressed closer; fumbling and graceless with desire. He ran his hand down TJ’s hip, and circled it back to denim-clad inner thigh. He pressed down gently as he glided his hand slowly back up; his palm briefly catching and cupping TJ’s erection, heavy and hard in his jeans. Beneath him, TJ lifted his hips slightly off the bed; Danny’s fingers immediately found the button and opened it, before sliding the zipper down with a slight metallic scratching sound.  He was mindless with desire as he bit TJ’s lower lip; his hands raking his fingertips down the sides of his thick torso. “God, I want you…” Danny groaned in all-encompassing desire against TJ’s mouth.

 

TJ, with permission now completely granted to him, gripped Danny’s hips and suddenly flipped the two of them over. Danny wheezed slightly as the air was knocked from his lungs by the collision with the bed. TJ curled his fingers into the top of Danny’s trousers and underpants, before swiftly pulling them down and off of him. He braced his weight over Danny – his hands pressed into the mattress and the rest of the weight shifted onto his knees as he tangled himself with the other man. The little silver key hung over Danny’s chest – the silver chain swayed slightly with each move TJ made.

 

He was wanted, not because Danny recognized him, but because he was completely smitten with him. Danny wanted him because the hunger burned in his irises the moment he laid his eyes on TJ. Danny wanted him because he was attracted to his appearance – and damn if that wasn’t more satisfying than only being wanted as a notch on a belt of celebrity lays.

 

TJ bit into Danny’s shoulder, eliciting a moan from the man, before he started kissing down Danny’s chest. Danny’s hand trailed down the valley between TJ’s pecs, down still between the valleys of his abs, until they brushed against the dusting of hair that lead down into his open jeans. Fingers following, he caressed the velvet soft flesh of TJ’s lower abdomen; the man shuddered a groan against his chest as Danny brushed his skin. Danny drew his hand away, and hooked his thumbs into the belt loops of TJ’s jeans. Tugging them down, he released TJ from the confines of the denim. Tentatively, as he had never done this with another man and was simply running on instinct, Danny brushed his palm over TJ’s straining cock.  Over him, face still buried in Danny’s upper torso, TJ moaned out a loud, low, and long groan as he sank his teeth into Danny’s abdomen. The sound of it, and the feeling of his sharp teeth against his flesh, made Danny throb. Encouraged, Danny wrapped his hand around the thick length of TJ. He tugged gently, his hand gliding over the velvet flesh.

 

TJ was wound up – had been since the taxi from St. Stephen’s Tavern. He groaned against the warm, pale, abdomen beneath him. The bite he’d left was definitely going to bruise – it was already turning a deep magenta shade. He squeezed his eyes shut against the feelings of pleasure as Danny’s hand worked his aching flesh, making his hips roll involuntarily- thrusting into Danny’s hand. TJ turned his head, pressing his cheek against Danny’s chest; his two day scruff scratching slightly against the flushed skin covering Danny’s sternum as he stroked his fingertips in light waves down Danny’s torso, before taking him in hand. He could hear Danny’s heart thumping loudly under his ear, and felt his body go tense as he stroked him. Danny relaxed after a moment, sinking into the pleasure and revelling in the feel of TJ’s firm grasp.

 

After a moment, Danny released his grip on TJ – eliciting a slight growl of displeasure from the man. He almost laughed, as he swatted TJ’s hand away from his erection as well. TJ’s brows furrowed in confusion for a moment, before Danny’s hands gripped his hips and tugged him down against himself. He groaned softly against Danny’s chest as he felt his erection press against his. Danny’s hands skimmed over TJ’s sides, over the slight musculature over his ribcage, before sweeping up and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Danny pulled him into another deep kiss, as he began to roll his hips, thrusting up against TJ’s pelvis. TJ pressed his weight against Danny, one forearm braced on the mattress, as the other hand gripped Danny’s bicep. Pulling back from the fervent kiss, TJ kept his eyes closed as he pressed his forehead against Danny’s. Panted breaths intermingled as their hips rocked together, the only sound but for the creaking of the mattress springs and their wildly beating hearts. Each breath made TJ a little more lightheaded, as he and Danny thrust against each other; the sinful feeling of hot and hard flesh slickly stroking together – cocks pressed to each other, between their abdomens. TJ turned his head, feeling the urgency starting to build as his hips began to snap faster against Danny's. He sank his teeth into Danny’s bicep, eliciting a low sound of pleasure from him as Danny's hips stuttered out of rhythm. His body went tense. Six years had been an awfully long time. Danny’s orgasm crashed over him, as he groaned out one word. “ _TJ_ …”

 

The guttural pitch of Danny’s voice, mixed with the unholy way in which he called out his name, was enough to push TJ over the edge. His fingers bit into the mattress, and into the flesh of Danny’s shoulder as he still held onto his bicep. After a moment, he sagged against Danny – body limp with exhaustion and the flood of endorphins coursing through his veins. Danny bore his weight without complaint, keeping his arms lightly wrapped around TJ, panting as they recovered.

 

TJ pulled away after a few moments, taking his weight off of Danny. He was too drained, and didn’t make it very far before he fell asleep. He was asleep before he realized he should have been preparing to leave – so that he could be out the door before Danny told him to leave. But his limbs were jellied, and his energy was completely exhausted.

 

He didn't remember the last time he was that drained afterward.

 

When TJ woke the next the next morning, his cheek was on Danny’s clavicle, and his arm tossed haphazardly over Danny’s stomach. It took TJ a moment of groggy, hungover, pondering before he puzzled out where he was.

 

He’d gone home with the man in the pub that shyly watched him every evening they were both there.

 

He’d picked the adorable stranger up, and went with him back to his flat. And now he was lying in bed with that man – using his shoulder as his pillow. He could still smell the last hint of Danny’s aftershave from the morning before, intermingled with sleep and sweat. TJ closed his eyes and cursed himself.

 

The guilt bubbled up immediately.

 

Danny was a great guy – adorable, and shy – awkward and sweet. But, he’d clearly never so much as kissed a man until the night before. He doubted that Danny had ever looked twice at a man before he saw TJ, and even that was likely a fluke.

 

No, the night before had been a mistake – he’d charmed the embarrassed and obviously unsure Danny into sleeping with him. Well, it hadn’t been difficult – TJ had always had that natural sexual charm that made people melt under one predatory gaze – but he _shouldn’t_ have used it on Danny. This was different. Danny wasn’t just some anonymous guy on a dating app. Danny was a decent man who had gazed at him, when he thought TJ wasn’t watching, like he was the sun. And TJ had enjoyed _every minute_ of the attention doted upon him.

 

In the light of the day, it was all so _wrong_.

 

TJ pressed his lips tightly together as he closed his eyes a moment, trying to settle his breath. The guilt and shame was burning the back of his neck. He eased his arm off of Danny’s waist gently, before slowly pushing himself up to a seated position, praying the mattress didn’t shift or creak, which would wake Danny.  He peered around the room, finally spotting his discarded tee and charcoal denim jeans. His shoes were haphazardly kicked aside on the floor. Okay, they were relatively close together. He could pick up all of his clothing in a couple of moments, and hopefully dress quickly and quietly.

 

He eased himself off the bed, which creaked its protest under him. He cringed, and stilled for a moment, but Danny didn’t seem to notice – still asleep. Okay, mission _partially_ accomplished. TJ crept to his feet, putting his weight on his toes and bending his knees so his thighs took the brunt of his weight – it would be quieter to creep around the room like that, than to walk flat-footed. Carefully bending, he picked up the discarded jeans, and balanced himself on one foot and then the other as he quickly put his trousers back on. He pulled them swiftly up his naked hips and readjusted himself and their fit before he fastened them – praying the sound of the zipper didn’t wake Danny. When the other man barely snuffled in his sleep, the tension dropped from TJ’s shoulders and he relaxed, hissing out a slight exhale before picking up his tee shirt and pulling it back over his head. Dropping the hem for it to fall into place, he reached back and patted his back pocket – okay, good.

 

He still had his wallet. Not that he thought Danny would steal it, only that it could have easily fallen out at some point the night before. His phone seemed to still be there as well. _‘Okay, already off to a better start than other walks of shame…’_ TJ thought to himself as he picked up his shoes.

 

TJ crept to the bedroom window, and unlatched it with his free hand. The lock was old, and made an obviously clicking as it moved. TJ held his breath, hearing the mattress move behind him. With a little luck, Danny was just getting more comfortably. When he didn’t hear anything else from Danny, TJ pressed on. Setting his shoes on the window sill, he caught his fingers into the window frame and pushed the glass upward as far as it would go. Taking a deep breath, he started to put himself out the window – his right leg was out, as well as his right arm. He was just starting to duck his head under the glass, when he heard Danny’s voice behind him.

 

“You _do_ know that we’re on the third floor, right?” Danny sounded a little amused, even if his voice was still a little sleep-soft.

 

TJ’s movements froze, and he glanced down. He should have looked before he started out the window, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. He swallowed tightly, before looking back over his shoulder at Danny. “… Now I do…”

 

Danny was sitting up in bed, his shoulders easily back against the headboard. He watched TJ for a moment, and saw the barely constrained look of panic and shame in the man’s grey eyes. After a tense and awkward moment, where TJ continued to hover halfway out the window, Danny sighed softly. He shook his head. “I’m not ignorant, TJ. I know exactly what _this_ …” he gestured between the two of them, “was. But look, its Saturday morning and you’re hanging out a third storey window… I’m not going to ask why you thought you _had_ to use the window. At least…” his voice trailed off for a moment as he worried his bottom lip, meeting TJ’s pained gaze.

 

That look made something in Danny shift, and he nodded curtly to officiate his decision. “At least let me make you a cup of coffee before you leave – and you’re going to use the front door! Or at least the fire escape… you don’t need to go falling out windows and breaking your neck just because you’re embarrassed.”

 

“No I—“ TJ tried to explain that he wasn’t embarrassed, he just… felt awful for using Danny. But the resolute look on Danny’s face – not the besotted shyness that he’d become accustomed to – made TJ’s voice catch in his throat. Rather than arguing, he nodded and pulled himself back into the bedroom.

 

“Good…” Danny pushed himself out of bed, and TJ noticed the bite that he’d left on the man’s abdomen had turned an aggressive dark purple. Moving to the dresser near the left side of the bed, Danny opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of old sweat pants, which he pulled on before dragging an old t-shirt over his head. “Besides your jacket is on the living room floor…”

 

TJ cursed himself again.

 

TJ followed Danny out into the main area of the flat once again – shyly and not sure what to do with himself. He wasn’t expecting his situation. In the living room, he picked up his discarded Versace jacket, and draped it over his forearm as he bit his lower lip, his brows furrowing as he watched Danny moving about in the open concept kitchen.

 

The sun was coming in through the kitchen window, falling over Danny in a pale, early morning, light. It glinted off of his dark hair and gave him a slight aura of light around the edge of his image, even as Danny moved and filled the kettle with water, before setting it on the lit burner. TJ watched him for a long moment, drinking in the sight of the almost silver glow around Danny, before he violently shook his head to dispel the thought – he groaned. While the hangover wasn’t too bad, the vigorous movement certainly made his head pound.

 

It was probably the most awkward cup of coffee that TJ had had had in the last few years. It was good coffee, and if he was being honest, he thought he detected a hint of scotch in the rich dark liquid. If Danny had given him a shot in the mug, he wasn’t admitting it to it. Oh well, hair of the dog and all. But it didn't make it any less awkward.

 

“I um…” TJ tried again, as he finished the mug of coffee. He made a face as he realized he didn’t know what he was trying to say; his brows furrowed.

 

Danny was leaning back against his counter, his own mug in hand. He watched TJ for a moment, waiting to see if he finished the thought, but he never did. He shook his head dismissively. “It’s alright…”

 

TJ forced a smile, and set the empty mug down. He leaned in, not entirely sure of what he was doing, but knowing he had to do _something_. He pressed his lips against Danny’s cheek, before pulling away. “I’ll just… be going…” He stepped back from Danny.

 

Danny, caught off guard by the kiss against his cheek and the scratch of TJ’s whiskers, blurted out the only words he could find. “Thank you.” He instantly hated himself.

 

TJ snorted a quiet little laugh as he pulled his leather jacket on. He slapped at his pocket, and found his house keys where he’d left them. Nodding, he turned on his heel and strode quickly out of the kitchen and out the front door. Leaving Danny behind in the flat.

 

TJ was never going back to St. Stephen’s Tavern. He couldn’t do it. Not anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

To be honest, Danny hadn't expected the empty feeling left when TJ walked out his door.

 

He'd been prepared for TJ to leave – he'd not been daft enough to think that last night had meant anything for the other man - it didn't even mean  _that_ much to himself. What it  _did_ mean, however was that he was going to have to take a long and honest look inside himself.

 

Maybe there was another reason than just PTSD left over from an abusive relationship, that had made him turn himself off to romantic involvement for the last six years.

 

Sighing to himself and pinching the bridge of his nose, Danny turned away from facing the door. Picking up TJ's discarded coffee mug, he put it into the sink with his own and ran hot water into them to loosen the dried coffee from the bottom. After a moment, he gave in. His head was pounding – though, surprisingly, it had little to do with alcohol consumption the night before. He'd not had nearly enough to be drunk, only mildly and warmly buzzed –  _pliable –_ when he and TJ left St. Stephen's the night before. No, this headache was the inevitable result of the last three weeks at work, and the lack of any decent sleep to be had in that time. Other than that of the night before.

 

Glancing up at the kitchen clock, Danny noted the time. 10:00 am.  _'Fuck it... going back to bed.'_ He sighed and rubbed at his aching eyes as he trudged back the bedroom. It briefly ran through his mind that he should change the bedding before he crawled back in, but in all honesty it didn't matter enough to him right now. Besides, he'd have to shower when he woke up again anyway, so why not just change the sheets then. It took almost nothing to convince himself of this logic in the exhausted and mildly apathetic state that he was in.

 

Danny collapsed, face-first, into the bed and pulled his pillow close as the tension began to melt out of his body once more. He was halfway asleep, eased into a warm and blank haze, when he suddenly realized that TJ's cologne was still lingering on the pillow.

 

_'Damn it..._ ', giving in, Danny pulled himself back out of bed, body heavy with exhaustion. He obviously wasn't going to sleep unless he changed the sheets and pillowcase. It wasn't that TJ's cologne was a negative smell - in fact it was comforting in it's clear, cool, simplicity. But the fact remained that, while Danny vehemently did  _not_ regret what had happened the night before, he  _did_ want to move passed it - after all, TJ had left in a hurry. Languishing in the last traces of the previous night's lover was not how you accomplish  _moving on._

 

By the time he'd remade the bed, and showered off the smell of stale beer and sweat, and any physical traces of the one night stand that were otherwise lingering, Danny was wide awake again. So much for the lazy Saturday he wanted.

 

♥

 

TJ closed his eyes as he knocked his head back against the bullet-proof glass of the subway car. His hands were thrust into the pockets of his jackets, as he focused on letting his mind go blank.

 

In his back pocket his phone, his phone beeped with a notification.

 

TJ's heart rate immediately spiked. Anxiety washed over him – was it Danny? Immediately he realized his reaction, and the obvious mistake contained in it. He had never given Danny his number – it was meant to be anonymous beyond their names. For god's sake, Danny hadn't even had a clue who TJ was, even with the statement of his full name. No, it couldn't be Danny (which was  _definitely_  for the best, TJ was still ashamed that he'd pressed Danny into taking him home last night).

 

Fishing the phone out of his pocket he clicked it back to life. One new message – from Greg.  _'Oh, just fucking great.'_ Part of TJ wanted to just completely ignore whatever Greg had to stay – after all it was because of  _him_ that TJ had been left hanging at St. Stephen's the night before – the whole reason he'd made a move on Danny Foster. The whole reason he'd slept better that night than he had in what felt like months. Okay, definitely not touching  _that_ thought with a ten foot pole.

 

_I'm sorry, bae! Got stuck in traffic. Lemme make it up to you tonight???_ _*mouth emoji* *sweat drops emoji* *dizzy eyes emoji*_

TJ stared at Greg's message for a long moment, with a look of barely contained disgust on his face. Normally he'd have jumped on the offer, all while freezing the man out, just so that they would dote on him for a little while. But right now it felt … ridiculous. It felt inappropriate, and if he was telling himself the truth, he didn't have any desire to sleep with Greg. Really he hadn't the night before either, but he'd already accepted the offer – and then Greg hadn't showed up.

 

Pushing any pseudo-guilt away at the realization that he had no desire to fall into bed with another stranger already ( _usually_ he was game), TJ typed out a clipped response to Greg.

 

_Can't. Have other plans._

_' **What** other plans...' _TJ paused to think – he certainly didn't have any other plans for the night – and this  _was_ a Saturday night. Still, after being stood up and actually having a moment to consider the prospect of Greg, he was sure he didn't want this.

 

_Can't. Have other plans. Don't message me again. ~TJ._

Clicking send, TJ turned his phone off and thrust it back into his pocket. He was probably going to regret what he'd just messaged, because Greg seemed like the type that would message him over and over again trying to get back into TJ's good graces. Well, if worse came to worst, he'd replace his phone and phone number. It's not like anyone knew it here anyway.

 

Closing his eyes, he dropped his head back against the window with a small  _thump!_ again.

 

♥

 

Saturday passed in a blur of exhaustion and apathy. Well,  _that_ was new.

 

Danny supposed he shouldn’t be surprised by the numb emotional state that had settled over him after TJ left his flat – half because he was so tired from three weeks of work which he considered to be tax payer funded  _babysitting_ of the politicians,  _and_ because the fling the night before was so completely out of character for Danny.

 

Danny was, for the most part, the man that stayed out of anything that was unrelated to work. He’d always been that way – more contented to be a homebody than a partier – not that he begrudged anyone their fun. Truth be told, he often wished he was more open to going out – and more than  _just_ his visits to St. Stephen’s on his way home from work.

 

Oh… that was probably… out of the question now. Well, at least for a while…

 

Danny was bound and determined to  _not_ regret the fling he’d had with TJ. The apathy wasn’t from regret, it was merely a side-effect of doing something so drastically out of the norm.

 

What was the point in regretting it? He’d wanted it the night before – had wanted TJ. Had wanted his weight on him, had wanted those bourbon flavoured kisses. He’d wanted TJ for weeks. He was not going to regret finally having him. Even though he'd never admitted to himself in those weeks that he'd desired TJ.

 

He wasn’t going to regret what had happened, because there was no way to undo the past – no way to change the fact that he’d willing caved under the charisma of the dark Adonis who had been filling all of his waking moments – at least those that were not work-addled. After all, charm or not, Danny hadn’t been forced to get into that taxi with TJ. And, despite TJ’s charisma and charm, he hadn’t pushed at Danny in a way that he was unwilling to comply with. The man had asked his permission in fewer words – had waited for Danny’s consent before he had acted. No, the feeling of apathy had nothing to do with regret.

 

What it was, however, was the realization that he was not exactly as he thought he’d been his entire life. At thirty six was he  _finally_ discovering why he wasn’t as involved with the dating scene as he probably  _should_ have been? At least within his own mind. He’d denied the attraction to TJ for weeks, hiding it down behind the idea that it was just an aesthetic attraction – that it was born from the rich leather jacket and those piercing grey eyes perfectly lined with a fine line of black kohl, and his dark eyelashes. From the fluffy chestnut hair, to the broad shoulders and the five o’clock shadow that framed TJ’s face so perfectly. Of course there would be an aesthetic attraction – the man was the definition of subtle male beauty, wasn’t he? But, that wasn’t where the attraction ended, and Danny knew that now.  _If_ it had been merely the aesthetic, Danny would likely have wanted to  _be_ him, or  _like_ him, and not have desired to descend into madness for the sake of a  _kiss_.

 

Danny refused to be ashamed. He’d already spent so much of his youth unfulfilled and unhappy with his romantic choices. For years he’d been besotted with Kirsty MacKenzie – had wanted only her. Had wanted to marry her, to be the loving husband that she deserved – to give her anything she desired. But she’d spent their days together in his office trying to usurp his Researcher position, despite the fact that he was leaving that post shortly enough  _and_ had been training her in that listing. They’d spent their relationship awkward with each other. Oh, there had been good days, a fair few of them at first. But then it went downhill.

 

To say that Danny didn’t have some form of trauma from that relationship, would be laughable. He’d not dated, nor had casual sex with (before TJ that was) anyone since that woman had thrown him by the wayside.

 

But now there was the trouble of it. Did Danny’s attraction to TJ stem from a side of his sexuality that he had been previously unaware of,  _or_ was it simply because it had been six years and the levy had to break?

 

Truthfully, Danny already knew the answer. He wasn’t as straight as he’d thought he was. And that was alright, but it did leave him in a tricky position.

 

_What_ , exactly, was his sexuality?

 

No, Danny was bound and determined to never regret those biting kisses or the slick slide of TJ’s flesh against his own, blanketed under the American’s weight as they panted out their passion. It was an experience – one that he would never have thought to seek out on his own (if it weren’t for TJ, Danny suspected that he would either have never realized his attraction to men – or… was it just  _some_  men? – or that it would have taken several more years).

 

Monday and Tuesday passed at a crawl. A snail with a directional impairment would have made better time. The days were long, the campaigns starting to ramp up as the UK headed towards its next election – just another drop in a sea of political discord bound to overwhelm the airwaves. Danny found himself unable to concentrate on his work – sitting instead with a pen balanced precariously on his pouted top lip while he stared mindlessly at the blank word document in front of him. The cursor flashed, mockingly, as it reflected off of his reading glasses. He really didn’t care.

 

Something was still niggling at him about Friday night. The way in which TJ had sighed out his full name in irritation – well, as much as “TJ” could be considered a full name, Danny realized there  _had_ to be more than just initials. But TJ had been almost inordinately  _pleased_ that Danny had had zero clue as to who he was - why should he know the name  _TJ Hammond?_

 

Danny knew he should leave it alone, let it fall by the wayside, but something in that bitter cloud in TJ’s grey eyes when he thought Danny knew who he was just kept appearing before his eyes. The memory washing over him at the strangest of times.

 

He wasn’t going to get any work done for the rest of the afternoon, and he was painfully aware of it. But, it was already approaching five o’clock, so maybe if he just soldiered on for another two hours he’d be allowed to leave.

 

Tossing the pen aside, Danny turned back to the browser window and typed the only thing that he knew to search for.

 

_“TJ Hammond”_

 

It was a long shot, he figured.  _‘After all, it can’t be_ that  _uncommon of a name?’_ he thought to himself as he clicked the search button.

 

The results flashed back less than half a second later. The top layer of the screen contained photos matching the search inquiry – and they were  _all_ of the man who Danny had all but fallen over himself for.

 

Furrowing his brows, Danny scrolled the non-photo results. The first few were news articles.

 

**_Where’s TJ? Disaster Prince of the Hammond-Barrish dynasty vanishes from D.C. Nightlife._** That one was dated two months previous.

**_Club Hysteria: TJ Hammond’s second failed Nightclub closes its doors for good amidst sex scandal._ **

**_Sex, Drugs, and Rock’n’Roll: The Fall of America’s Original Openly Gay First Son_ **

Danny’s brows furrowed, knitting together. Even without clicking on the links, he could see the articles clearly had their biases. His heart sank a little as he scrolled through a handful of similar titles. It turned his stomach, and he moved away from the so-called news articles, and looked at the other results. The first one was a Wikipedia article – he could already hear his college professors constantly reminding him that Wikipedia was the worst source available. But, considering the other options, Wikipedia was at least a starting point.

 

Danny clicked on the link, and started to read the entry on TJ Hammond.

 

**_Thomas James “TJ” Hammond_ ** _(born July 30 th, 1982) is the eldest of twin sons born to former U.S. President Bud Hammond, and current U.S. President Elaine Barrish. He is the twin brother of current White House Chief of Staff Douglas Hammond. He is known for being the first openly gay son of a U.S. President in history, as well as being a favourite of the tabloid press due to the antics of his personal life._

**_Contents_ ** _[hide]  
_

1\. Early years  
2\. White House years  
     _2.1 Early teens_  
_2.2 1998 Controversy_  
_2.3  Media Circus_  
3\. Education and academic life  
  _3.1 Stanford University_  
_3.2 Juilliard_  
4\. Elaine Barrish 2010 presidential campaign  
5\. Elaine Barrish 2014 Presidential campaign  
6\. Personal life  
    _6.1 Drug Abuse_  
_6.2 Rehab 2006_  
_6.3 Rehab 2008_  
_6.4 2011 Sex scandal_  
_6.5 2011 Failed Suicide Attempt_  
_6.6 2012 Overdose_  
7\. In popular culture  
8\. References  
9\. External Links

 

Danny’s heart sank as he skimmed the content headings of TJ’s Wikipedia entry. So  _that’s_  why he’d sighed so bitterly when he thought Danny knew who he was. He couldn’t blame TJ at all, not after he’d read through most of the Wiki entry. TJ was a man whose entire life was watched and catalogued – they were just  _waiting_ for him to slip up, and the media would be all over him like the vultures they were.

 

They were only born a few months apart – TJ being three months older than Danny. He remembered being sixteen. While he’d been a homebody even then, the bright boy in the class that never really fit in, Danny knew perfectly that fitting in was the only thing that mattered at that age. That was true for any teenager – had always been. But, he couldn’t imagine what being the son of the President had done to TJ. He couldn’t imagine the pain he had gone through when his private confession had become a forced public outing at the hands of the media. For god’s sake, he was a sixteen year old  _boy_ , didn’t they see the damage that they were doing?

 

Didn’t they  _care_?

 

Of course they hadn’t cared. And when TJ eventually collapsed under the weight of the scorn, the terror, the backlash from die-hard republicans, from the threats that were lobbied his way – as a  _sixteen year old boy_ – the media condemned him and his choices. Had made him into a punchline of some cruel joke.

 

Had dubbed him  _The Disaster Prince_.

 

Danny sighed and closed the Wikipedia page as he looked away from the screen. He understood why TJ had been so hesitant to give his name – and so relieved when Danny admitted that he  _truly_ had no idea who he was. It was the first time in what was probably entirely too long, that TJ hadn’t been viewed as a conquest, or something worth pitying – or mocking.

 

At sixteen, Danny had tried to separate himself from politics – from the business of his family. Clearly it hadn’t lasted, but for a few glorious years in his middle teens, he’d pushed it all away. While he vaguely remembered hearing that the son of some president or another was gay, he’d never thought about it again. It hadn’t meant anything in his life.

 

And now, twenty years later, he finally knew the name of the man.

 

♥

 

That was honestly the strangest Saturday night that TJ had had in a long while. He actually stayed in his rented flat, lounging on the settee, with his phone indiscriminately discarded somewhere across the room. It was wherever it landed when he tossed it and his jacket aside, finally making it into the St. Pancras Chambers flat that he’d spent every last  _dime_  he’d had to rent.  Eventually what funds he had would dwindle, with the staggering £4,000 monthly rent. He wouldn’t last forever, not in this flat. But he could enjoy it for now.

 

He deserved it after all, the peace it brought him. Didn’t he?

 

Turning his head, he glanced at the open area of the reception room as he dropped himself onto the charcoal suede sectional sofa. The corner under the two ten foot tall windows, was bare – entirely too empty. He sighed and looked away. He had done what he had to do to restart here in London. But the missing Steinway & Sons was still a gaping wound in his heart and soul.

 

After a moment, TJ pulled himself up from the settee with a strained sigh. His body was aching, just a little, from the tension of the night before. He rolled his shoulders and shook them to work the kinks out the muscles, before reaching a hand up and rubbing at the back of his neck. He felt the rope-like knot in the muscle back there, and let out a little groan at the memory of how  _good_ it had felt when Danny’s fingers had dug into it and forcibly eased the tension out of his neck. His own fingers bit into the knot, pressing and working, trying to ease the strain.

 

He ended up standing under the nearly scalding shower spray, disassociating, for an hour. Just watching the water roll off of his body as his mind remained blank. The hot water burned away much of the aching of his muscles, loosening his body and his mind alike. Wrapping a clean towel around is hips as he stepped out of the glass shower stall, he stood in front of the sink, leaning in closer to inspect his appearance in the mirror. Frowning slightly at the reflection that met him, TJ glanced down and picked up the pair of slant-ended tweezers from their designated spot on wide white vanity. He leaned his hips against the edge of the counter, leaning in closer to the mirror to improve his vision. His expression remained blank as he plucked a few small, stray, eyebrow hairs – brushing them off before he set the tweezers down once more. He ran the pad of his middle finger over each brow and, satisfied with their groomed shape, turned his attention to his whisker scruff. He drew a razor from inside the medicine cabinet, and popped the cover off of it before he wet the head beneath the tap. He set the readied razor aside on the spotless counter before pumping shaving cream into his palm. He ran his hands together, quickly, spreading the foam over his fingers, before he worked it into his beard growth. Picking up the razor again, he wicked away the whiskers, his mind still blank. This was a practised dance. He set the razor aside and picked up the clean hand towel set aside for this purpose; dampening his face and cleaning off the slight residue left by the shaving cream.

 

Looking in the mirror, he still didn’t like what he was seeing. Despite the clean shave, his skin still seemed a little dull to his eyes. Nodding his resignation to himself, TJ knelt briefly to draw the two bottles he was looking for out from the storage under the vanity. The first was a gentle sugar scrub, which he used to exfoliate his face – careful of where he’d already shaved so that he didn’t give himself razor burn. Once he’d washed it away, he opened the second bottle, and blotted out a measurement of the Mario Badescu aloe vera toner onto a cotton ball before applying it to his face.

 

Completing his ritual, TJ looked himself over once more. He looked better, at least in his own mind. He felt better, the practiced motions and results giving him a little bit of comfort, allowing his thoughts to remain blank as he was performing these tasks.

 

After all, it was important to always look one’s best, even when you’re feeling your worst.

 

Walking into his bedroom he glanced at his closet, honestly contemplating if he should dress for a night out or not. What he really needed, if he was honest,  _wasn’t_ another night out, or another hook-up. So, discarding the thought, TJ pulled a pair of thin flannel pyjama bottoms from his small dresser. Only then did he glance at the clock on his night stand.

 

It was only four in the afternoon.

 

He shrugged off the guilt at being “undressed” so early in the day, and returned to the bathroom to hang his bath towel up to dry, before walking out the reception room of his flat. He ignored his phone, forcing himself not to glance at its darkened screen, as he walked passed it. Lifting his hand, he ruffled out his still-drying hair as he meandered between the back of his couch and his open concept kitchen. He pulled open the stainless steel fridge and glanced inside, before choosing a chilled bottle of white wine. He set it on the counter, before ducking back into the fridge to retrieve the last of the takeaway from two days prior. He eyed it critically for a moment, before shrugging it off. It should be fine.

 

When he flopped back onto the sectional couch, he sat the cardboard takeaway container off to left before pouring a large glass of wine, and settling back, as he flicked the television on, hoping for mindless entertainment.

 

Across the room, his phone beeped with an incoming message. TJ paused for a moment, but studiously ignored the phone. Settling on a rerun of a movie he’d seen a thousand times, TJ picked at the cold chow mein, while nursing the sauvignon blanc.

 

Over the next hour, his phone beeped with six more incoming messages. And then it rang twice with unanswered calls. More than well aware that no one that he knew personally had his number here – when he’d picked up and left D.C., he’d done so  _completely_.

 

There was only person that it could have been, honestly.

 

Pinching the bridge of nose, TJ turned the volume up on his tv, ignoring Greg’s incessant messaging.

 

This continued through two more movies. By eleven, the messages had stopped, and TJ had finished two bottles of wine. Picking himself up, he stumbled a little, but got the wine glass and bottles to the kitchen sink without any real trouble. Shrugging if off, he put them into the dry sink – he’d worry about them tomorrow.

 

The light of Sunday morning came, and TJ finally picked up his discarded cell phone. Clicking it on, he swore under his breath as he saw the notifications pop up. He rolled his eyes exasperatedly.  **157 texts, 24 missed calls, 15 voicemails.** All from one number.  _Greg_.  He flicked through the notifications quickly, sliding his thumb over the screen, barely pausing to read the texts. They were all in the same vein, anyway.

 

  * _Babe, let **me**  be your plans. ;)_
  * _TJ! Did you get my text? You’re so gorgeous *hearteyes*_
  * _I know I messed up last night. wanna make it up to you_
  * _Let me blow you, baby._
  * _You’re so hot, I can’t think about anything other than that sexy ass_
  * _I think I could cum just looking at you_
  * _Baby come on, don’t play hard to get_
  * _TJ answer me!!!!!_



 

By the last texts, Greg was outright condemning TJ and calling him every horrible name he could think of. The least of them was a drug addict.

 

Rolling his eyes, TJ shrugged his jacket on and grabbed his wallet from the table by the door. He shoved it into the back pocket of his jeans as he grabbed his keys and headed out of the flat. He needed coffee.

 

He scrolled through the settings on his phone as he walked – glancing up from the screen every few moments as he navigated the crowded London sidewalks – carefully not to collide with anyone. By the time he reached the little hole-in-the-wall coffee house that he’d come to favour, the factory reset was finished on his phone – wiping it free and clean. He quickly popped out the sim card and his micro SD card, putting them into his pocket. He dropped the iPhone into the rubbish bin outside of the coffee house, without a second thought, before he opened the door and slipped inside.

 

He bought a new phone that afternoon, and changed his phone number. At home, he deleted the Grindr account that Greg had found him through in the first place, and opened up a new one. He was more careful this time – this time no one would know his name – not even the established moniker of “TJ”, that much he swore to himself. By Sunday night, he’d started using the app with a completely falsified name. As far as his matches were concerned, he was  _Leo Bennet_.

 

He was just glad that he never brought any of those men back to his St. Pancras Chambers apartment – if he had, he had no doubt that Greg would have shown up on his doorstep. And, you know, he really loved this flat.

 

TJ stayed away from St. Stephen’s Tavern, after that weekend. The atmosphere was decent, but it was a stuffy old-man’s bar, not the nightlife that he was looking for. The food was decent, but it was it wasn’t worth the possibility of running into Danny again.

 

He was still ashamed of what he’d done that Friday night, pushing Danny out of his comfort zone and into bed with him.

 

 TJ did his best to move on from that night – and the easiest way to move on was to get blindingly drunk, as high as possible, and to lose himself into a sea of casual sex.

 

As  _Leo Bennet_ , he trawled through multiple dating apps – not sure, exactly, of what he was looking for. But, he knew it  _wasn’t_ Greg, or anyone like him. But, TJ had always had knack for finding sexual partners, so despite the name change and skipping matches that he would otherwise have normally chosen, it didn’t take him long to get a couple of prospective partners.

 

Normally TJ would choose to be with a partner a couple of times a week – around three times. It allowed him to lose himself into a different life – especially when no one knew his name. With a moniker he could  _possibly_ successfully stop drawing in the men (and a few women) who only looked at him – the son of two American Presidents – as a conquest to be had.

 

But the messages that kept appearing in his inbox on the apps (he’d stop giving out his actual phone number until he’d chatted with each match for a day or so) were enough to make him cringe. They were all crass and rude, and he started to wonder if it had  _always_ been that way. Had he just never noticed it before? He pushed the thoughts away and ignored the worst of the messages – blocking the usernames they came from. Still, even in the  _tolerable_ pile, there was a number of men who either didn’t know how to talk to him, or honestly were only in it for the wrong reasons.

 

_**Super_Cock:**  Heeeeeeey baby… what’choo doin’ tonight?_

_**Twunk_Not_Twink:**  Yo, what dat mouth do, boi?_

_**Red_Robin:**  Boo! You lookin’ dope, dawg. 10 outta 10, would ride_

_**Pearl_Necklace:**  HOT!!! *hearteyes* You got Insta, bb??_

_**Topper_29:**  You got me hard just thinkin’ about you trapped under me_

_**ZipZap_TapDatAss:**  Can’t wait to make you scream, babe ;)_

These were the  _best_  of the messages that had come through in the last twelve hours.

 

Sighing to himself, TJ put the phone down on his lap and rubbed his eyes with an exasperated sigh. It had been more than a month of the same garbage. He’d met up with a few guys in the first two weeks of re-joining Grindr under his assumed name, but since then he’d failed to pull the trigger on any of them. They were all the same, wanting him for their own purposes. To these men - and TJ more than understood that this was not every man in existence- gay, straight, bi, or otherwise – TJ was just an object to be lusted after. But it had always been the same, hadn’t it? Even when he was younger. It was always about him being the teenaged First Son that they lusted after. It had always been about being the _Disaster Prince_  – the punchline of so many jokes - who was down for anything and therefore they could use for their own pleasure. It was always about  _taking,_ and rarely about  _giving_. It had always been about how TJ was “gorgeous”, wasn’t it? It was always about how fit he looked, or the pout of his lips, or how firm his ass was. It was always about being that thing that they lusted after.

 

He’d never noticed it before – or if he had, he’d done everything in his power to push aside the thought and use it to his own advantage. The more they lusted, the more they just wanted to conquer him, the less likely it was that he’d be hurt in at the end of the affair. Sex was just sex, after all, and it didn’t matter if they viewed him as just an object, as long as he got his. None of this had ever been about love, it had always been about another vice to ease the ache in his chest when drugs and alcohol couldn’t.

 

As he thumbed through the messages, TJ’s mind went blank. He’d come close to making concrete plans with more than a handful of these men over the last six weeks. But before the plans were finished, he’d always flaked out. More than a few he simply ghosted. He couldn’t help it, the more he re-read the messages, the more they got under his skin.

 

There was once a time when being talked to in such a way would have been perfectly fine for TJ – course de rigueur, in fact. But somewhere over the last two months something had shifted inside of TJ. He didn’t want to be just another conquest any more – not that he’d ever really enjoyed that fact. He didn’t want to be treated like someone’s personal sex toy. Was it so much to ask for someone to show  _a little_  interest in him?

 

After Sean Reeves, TJ believed that he wasn’t  _worth_  loving. Before Sean he had simply thought it would never happen for him, but following Reeves’ betrayal, the damage had been done. He didn’t believe he was  _worth_  loving; that there was something so horribly wrong with him that he was undeserving of anything but the degrading casual sex that he constantly found himself mired in.

 

It had been almost six weeks since he’d left Danny Foster’s apartment. Four weeks since TJ’s last  _date_. He was a nervous wreck –fidgety and sexually pent-up. But it wasn’t enough to make him act on any of the messages and propositions waiting in the various apps’ inboxes. He wanted something different – something  _better_ than he’d been allowing himself to have for years.

 

Including Sean, and before, TJ couldn’t remember the last time someone  _truly_  held onto him, touched him with reverence and worship. It was a bitter pill to swallow, that even the man he’d loved with all of his heart, hadn’t felt or shown a glimmer of real love for him. Love at First Sight – what a crock of horseshit that had been.

 

TJ carded his hand back through his dark hair, pushing at it as he sat on his sectional couch – destitute.

 

His mind kept trailing back to that night that he’d tried to forget for the shame it brought him. His memory seemed to take him by the hand and draw him back into that encounter. Danny Foster had shyly watched him for  _three weeks_ before anything had transpired. The look of pure longing on Danny’s face had been amusing to TJ at the time – no one looked at him with such an innocently hungry look. Danny’s awkward panic when TJ sat at the table – the flush of embarrassment in his cheeks when TJ made his intentions clear. The tense shyness of the back of the cab as TJ gripped his thigh and pressed his weight up against Danny – licking his throat and humming against Danny’s pounding pulse. That first kiss. The desperation of the kiss against the closed front door of Danny’s flat.  The look of reverence and shy adoration in Danny’s eyes as TJ pulled him by the hand onto his bed. The worshipful way in which Danny had traced his fingers over TJ’s broad shoulders and his ribs. The shared kisses and the strange intimacy of their intermingled breath on the edge of orgasm.

 

Danny had made him coffee the following morning, despite the light of day bringing regret and awkwardness. He’d specifically poured TJ a mug of coffee with a shot of scotch in it to combat the hangover that he was sure TJ must have been suffering from.

 

It had all been so intimate that it had terrified TJ. It had terrified him so badly – it was so _foreign_  – that he’d run and never looked back. He’d regretted that night, because he had held Danny in the palm of his hand, and he’d used him. Had made the man, who had never so much as kissed another man, weak with desire for him.

 

TJ had never stopped to consider that maybe, just maybe, Danny had  _actually_ wanted him.

 

♥

 

Danny was glad that the election was only a minor one – the campaigning had started three months previous. Well, truth be told it had started the year before, but the last three months had been the most draining as the election approached. But, tonight it was all going to end. Today was Election Day, and Danny couldn’t be happier.

 

It was Friday night, and no matter what the election results, he was not going to be needed until Monday morning. He could finally get properly drunk, and pass out for the next 48 hours. After the last three months, he certainly needed it.

 

It was weird this time, though. All the other Election Nights Danny had watched the results with someone. Whether it was his parents when he was a child, or his brother when he was older – Kirsty when they had been together – or his brother again after the dissolution of that disastrous union. But, Scott and Ashika were busy that night. It was their anniversary, and naturally that came first. Still, he wished he had someone to share this with – even if they had no interest in politics.

 

Truth be told, he felt… alone. Not lonely, mind, for in order to be lonely the feeling had to be a crushing weight on his heart. No, Danny simply felt  _alone_. His flat was empty in a way that he’d never noticed previously. He’d moved in after the break up with Kirsty, and while he’d felt the loneliness and darkness then, that had been so many years ago that all the other memories had superseded that empty feeling of the flat.

 

Six years was too long of a time to deprive himself of love and affection. He’d punished himself for _Kirsty’s_  inability to love him as he deserved, but he was beginning to see that it had never been about  _him_. If there was one good thing about that relationship, it was that its final collapse had forced Danny to change and grow.

 

And if there was one good thing about the election campaigning that he hated so passionately, it was that it had put him in the path of TJ Hammond weeks before. Had it not been for that encounter, Danny might never have realized that the wounds caused by Kirsty’s uncaring, abusive, attitude had healed over. Danny might never have realized that he was still capable of feeling something for another person – even if it was fleeting. And, Danny might never have realized that he was bisexual. He’d never thought about it before that night, though in hindsight he could see the evidence throughout his entire life.

 

That night, and by extension the miserable election campaign, was a blessing. He would never have been brave enough to approach TJ, had the man not come to him first. He never would have thought to have the experience that they had had. He would never have realized that part of himself.

 

And he wouldn’t have come to a point where he was content to start looking for a relationship again.

 

In all, despite the exhaustion of the last three months, Danny couldn’t deny that they had been beneficial.

 

He pulled a bottle of beer from his fridge, and grabbed the bowl of popcorn off the counter as he walked back from the open kitchen and towards the couch. The tv was already on, the news queued up as the ballots were being counted. Perching himself on the edge of the couch, he put the bowl on the table before twisting the cap off of the bottle of beer, and taking a long draw of the golden liquid.  He glanced up at the clock – eleven pm. It wouldn’t be long now before the announcement.

 

On the tv, cheering erupted from the gathered crowds, and Danny perked up. This was it- the culmination of the last three months of his work. He’d know tonight if his party had taken the seat, or not. He lifted the beer back to his mouth as he watched earnestly.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Danny waited with baited breath. “I can now officially say that, the winner of tonight’s election is –“

 

A loud knocking on his front door caused him to miss it. He jumped, surprised by the sudden pounding on the door. He couldn’t make out the election results, and he tried to catch up, but the pounding came again. Danny was torn – half of him pissed that he’d missed that important moment, and the other half worried that something had happened to Scott or Ashika.

 

He put the beer down on the table and muted the tv as he got up and spun around the edge of his couch. He stalked to the front door like a leopard on the hunt. Unlocking the door, he wrenched it open without first looking out the peep hole. “What the hell do you wa—“ his voice died on his lips as his hazel eyes widened. His mouth ran dry.

 

TJ Hammond was standing in the hall of the apartment complex. The light behind him illuminated him and set his dark hair aglow with licks of red flame. He was impeccably dressed in a slim fitted dark plum-coloured silk shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and the top button popped. His dress trousers were fine black suiting wool, and the silver buckle of his leather belt glinted in the normally unforgiving light of the hall. Danny looked him over. In his right hand, dangling by its neck from his long fingers, TJ held a bottle of Jack Daniels. In his left was a bag of ice, and cradled into his elbow was a simple bouquet of flowers. His expression was barely contained fear laid over a desperately small look of hope.

 

TJ panted softly for a moment, just staring into Danny’s face as a wave of warmth washed through him, at the sight of those hazel eyes. Realizing that he’d just been staring back at Danny, TJ swallowed tightly around the lump forming in his throat. He started to smile, small and gentle, as he sheepishly raised both hands to show his bounty. “Did you know that you can make margaritas with whisky?”

 

Danny’s pale brows lifted in surprise – whatever it was that he had expected TJ to say,  _that_ wasn’t it.

 

TJ pressed on, before he could lose his nerve. He’d said this before, and it was  _ridiculous_  but in those moments he’d not had time to think of anything better. Everything that had been in his head while he waited for Danny to open the door, had rushed out the moment he saw the man. He smiled, self-deprecatingly. “Well, it turns out that you  _can_ , and they’re  _good_!”

 

Danny couldn’t help but start laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

It really hadn’t been a pre-mediated plan. Before he’d even realized what he was doing, TJ had found himself up and out of his apartment door, jogging to the stairs. He’d half-thrown himself down them, feet flying. The elevator would be too slow – he had to keep moving or risk losing his nerve.

 

The flowers had been a second thought when he was standing, practically thrumming, in the checkout line of Tesco. He grabbed the bouquet and put them on the belt with the bottle of Jack Daniels (he’d been a little surprised that he’d been able to get it in England, but refused to admit his surprise), and the bag of ice. When the cashier eyed the items and then him a little critically, TJ half-grinned sheepishly. He shrugged his shoulders.

 

“I take it you upset your missus.” The cashier spoke evenly. She was a woman easily in her late fifties, or possibly her sixties. She didn’t seem to have taken very good care of herself over the years though, and it made her a little frumpy. As she scanned the items, she glanced up and met TJ’s grey eyes. “You really think whisky and flowers will help?”

 

He really didn’t think it was any of her business, but he was in a hurry and he was vibrating at a different frequency. He couldn’t – or perhaps didn’t want to – stop himself from replying. “Bold of you to assume I’m not just a romantic who wants to treat his _husband_.”

 

The cashier’s shoulders went tense, but she said nothing more as she totalled his purchase.

 

The great thing about being so ashamed of that night with Danny six weeks earlier, was the fact that the shame burned the details into his mind. He remembered exactly which Underground station was closest to Danny’s flat (he’d only had to walk a few blocks from the building to get to the tube to go home that Saturday morning), which made finding the building relatively easy.

 

He only realized his mistake – or rather, the one pitfall of not planning this surprise visit a little better, when he reached the front of the building. He was able to get inside the main door, but the secondary doors that lead into the lobby were key protected. His shoulders sagged a little and he hung his head in defeat.

 

TJ must have cut a sorry picture, as he leaned his forehead against the glass of the front door, because after a moment he heard the lock starting to turn. His eyes snapped opened, and he looked up, catching sight of an ancient woman (she was ninety, if she was a day) opening the door for him from inside the lobby.  She was tiny, and fragile looking, but she pushed the door open for him. TJ was speechless, but he quickly moved and took the weight of the door from her, holding it with his elbow as she started to shuffle back.

 

“Thank… thank you.” TJ swallowed tightly.

 

“No problem, dearie.” Her voice was gentle, but the timber of it told TJ that this woman had been a firecracker in her day. “A man with flowers and whisky isn’t likely to be a robber.” She winked at him.

 

TJ couldn’t help but snort out a laugh of surprise. “No, I’m not.”

 

“Didn’t think so. Come on, I’ll take you up.” She nodded towards the lift, and TJ followed her to the elevator as she pressed the button to call it. 

 

TJ smiled, a little awkwardly, as they waited for the elevator to come and collect them. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as he gazed into the middle distance; his heart was pounding, and he started to wonder just what he was doing here.

 

Mrs. Strachan seemed to sense the change in him, and she looked him up and down. “It’ll be just fine, my dear.”

 

“Well… they’re not expecting me…” he shrugged a little, as his shoulders sagged. His resolve was starting to waver, as the doors of the lift opened, and the woman ushered him inside. He moved to press the button for the third floor, but she gave him a pointed look, and pushed both the buttons for the second floor, and the third. That was… strange.

 

The trip to the second floor only took a few seconds, but they were a pregnant silence. As the elevator came to a stop, before the doors could open, the woman turned to TJ again. “309.”

 

TJ snapped out of his thoughts as he looked down at the little old lady. “Pardon?”

 

“Danny’s flat number. 309.” She smiled mischievously as the doors of the lift opened, and she stepped out.

 

TJ stood, shocked into absolute silence as the doors closed once more, and the elevator juddered back to life carrying him up to the third floor. _‘What the hell was that…’_

 

He found 309 easily – it was just around the corner from the stairs – in one direction – and the elevator in the other direction. TJ stood outside the door of the flat for a long moment; heart pounding in his breast. He could hear the muffled din of a television on inside the flat, and he could hear someone moving around in the general direction of the kitchen – off to his left. He took a deep breath, and shifted the bottle in his hand until it hung from its neck between his fingers. The change of position allowed him to knock upon the door.

 

No one answered, and TJ tried again – this time he could hear movement coming towards the door, and his heart almost stopped. _‘Come on Teej… you can do this. It’s just a hello. It’s just an offer of drinks. It’s not like you bought roses – these are just flowers to bring some colour into the apartment. It’s not like you’re pushing for anything from him. Just say hello…’_

The door opened, “What the hell do you wa-“ Danny’s voice died in his throat as his eyes met TJ’s.

 

Everything that had been running through TJ’s mind instantly vanished. Gone, like panted breath in the winter cold. He swallowed tightly, and grinned as he held up his arms to show off the bottle of whisky, the bag of ice, and the flowers.

 

Danny was a sight for sore eyes, and TJ didn’t know how to process that realization. So, he said the first thing that came to his traitorous mind. “Did you know you can make margaritas with whisky?” Danny’s brows lifted in surprise, and TJ almost wanted to run. Instead, he pressed on, because he didn’t know what else to do – he had to do it before he lost his nerve. “Well, it turns out that you _can,_ and they’re _good!_ ”

 

The sound of Danny’s instant laughter immediately soothed TJ’s frazzled and fraying nerves. It wasn’t a bitter laugh, or a malicious one. It was gentle, soft, and flowed from the man like he just couldn’t help it.

 

TJ’s shy smile extended into a grin as the corners of his mouth curled up. “Don’t laugh! They _are!_ ” he teased, attempting to regain a little of his footing; a little of his cocksure self.

 

“I don’t have any lime juice, or Cointreau.” Danny shrugged as he stepped ever-so-slightly aside.

 

“Right… I forgot that most people _don’t_ keep a fully stocked bar.” TJ glanced down at his feet as embarrassment radiated through his body. He really was bad at this.

 

Danny watched him for a moment longer, but he’d already made up his mind. Smiling softly and gazing at TJ with a tender expression (which the other man could not see as he studied his shoes) he just watched for a moment, noticing the confidence had bled from those broad shoulders. “I would, if I entertained at all.” His voice was warm and inviting.

 

TJ lifted his attention back to Danny’s face, and saw the tender smile there. His heart jumped a beat. Maybe Danny _wasn’t_ trying to casually get rid of him.

 

“Come in,” Danny stepped fully aside as he nodded his head to motion into the apartment. “I’ll get a couple glasses for that whisky.” He turned away from the door and headed back towards the open concept kitchen, leaving TJ standing in the door way.

 

Despite hoping, despite half-begging internally that this sudden appearance on Danny’s doorstep would work, TJ had only expected the worst. It was second nature, given his history – given _their_ history. After all, he’d fled like a terrified child that day, and he’d never looked back.

 

TJ walked into the apartment cautiously, realizing that he’d actually made it _back_ here. That he’d put himself right back into Danny’s presence, though he had sworn to himself, for Danny’s sake, that he’d never see the other man again. He worried his lip as he glanced around the walls, drinking in the décor he’d not taken the time to appreciate during his last _visit_. It was his way of keeping his mind from overworking, and staying calm.

 

The walls of the flat were a muted grey-green. In the darkness, this was only visible where the light cast by the tv and a few standing lamps happened to illuminate the paint. The mouldings were painted white, and together they gave the place a cozy feeling, despite the neutral grey-green being a normally isolating colour. TJ couldn’t help but notice that the colour _almost_ matched his eyes.

 

The main couch, positioned between himself and the tv, where Danny had clearly been sitting when he’d pounded on the door, was black leather. It didn’t appear to be new – the style was at least ten years old, but the leather was in fine shape. TJ set the large bottle of whisky down on the seat cushion, as he stood behind the couch. He absently ran his free hand over the back of one of the cushions as he looked around. The leather was soft, and it relaxed him. His fingers continued to stroke over the cushion, as he turned and looked up at the wall behind him. His trance was broken when he saw the two large mounted posters. He jerked his head back in surprise.

 

They were twins, clearly. Two 24 by 36 inch posters made of white canvas. In the centre of one, was a maroon circle, in the other, a black circle. Together they read EAT | DIE.

 

They felt strangely out of place – they didn’t feel like they should belong to Danny, and yet there they were.

 

Danny, walking back with two whisky rocks glasses, saw the way TJ’s body jerked the moment he read the posters. Danny couldn’t help but chuckle. TJ spun around to look at him, even as Danny was setting the glasses on the coffee table, and moving the bottle of Jack Daniels from the couch onto the table. He reached out “Here, give me the ice, I’ll put it in the freezer – and I’ll find something to put those in.” he gestured to the flowers as TJ handed him the ice.

 

TJ licked his lips slightly, and hazarded another glance up at the posters. “Those are… uplifting…”

 

Danny snorted, “They’re not mine. You don’t need to worry about me or anything.”

 

“I think I probably _should_.” TJ teased, stepping around the couch, picked up the bottle of whisky and opened it. His eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled the spicy, warm, scent of the alcohol.  After a moment, he poured out two well portioned glasses, before closing the bottle again.

 

Danny was laughing in his kitchen as he went through his cupboards. The bag of ice already stowed away in the freezer, he was looking for a vase to put the flowers into. “I _swear_ those posters aren’t mine. They belong to my brother, Scott, but his wife doesn’t want them in the house.”

 

“I can see why… Why on earth did your brother want them?” TJ picked up his glass and settled back into the plush leather couch, hooking one knee over the other as he supported himself with one elbow, watching as Danny filled the container he’d found with water.

 

“Oh, well… he didn’t.” Danny shrugged as he carried the large glass container from the kitchen and to the other side of the reception room, where he sat it on a small shelf that acted as a book table, when the window seat was in use. With it stationary, he opened the wrapping on the bouquet.

 

“They belonged to his best friend – his roommate. But, he passed away about twelve years on, now, and Scott couldn’t bear to give them away. So, when Ashika didn’t want them in their house, I offered to take them.” He slid the stems of the flowers into the water, and let them fall where they wanted. “I’ve gotten used to them, but I understand they aren’t everyone’s taste.”

 

Once the flowers settled, Danny fluffed the arrangement a little, and turned the square vase so that when the dawn came, the flowers would get the most of the sunlight. “There!” He turned to TJ with a happy grin.

 

TJ wasn’t sure how to react to the inheritance of morbid posters, but seeing Danny’s bright grin and the way that he had tenderly arranged the, admittedly, cheap flowers that TJ had brought him… made his heart sing. TJ grinned.

 

Danny walked back across the room and dropped himself onto the couch at TJ’s side, picking up the other glass of whisky.  He turned and looked up at his face, just drinking in the sight of TJ for a moment.

 

TJ’s mind was still on the flowers, and how Danny had seen to making sure they would be happy in the window. He barely noticed Danny’s intense gaze upon him. He smiled sheepishly and sipped at the amber liquid in the glass. “They’re not much, I know.” He gestured across the room to the vase with a nod of his chin. “I would have gone to a florist, but… it was late, and –“

 

“Why are you apologizing?” Danny hummed softly, as he smiled. “I like them, just as they are. It doesn’t matter to me where they came from, or what they are – it’s the gesture of it, TJ. Besides, no one’s ever brought flowers – not even me Mam when I moved in.”

 

TJ smiled to himself, and relaxed. “You should _always_ have flowers when you move into a new place. They bring a little bit of life, and colour - even white ones – to an empty apartment.” He took another sip of his whisky. “So… consider those my housewarming gift to you.”

 

Danny smiled into his whisky, before meeting TJ’s eyes. “Is that all they are?”

 

TJ swallowed tightly. “I uh…” he paused, and took a deep breath, holding it for a moment. “Alright, real talk?” He flickered his glance down to Danny, before looking mindlessly at the tv. “I didn’t even think about it – I just grabbed them when I was getting to the cashier and I… um…”

 

Danny grinned. “You don’t have to explain yourself. Either way, I like them. Thank you.”

 

TJ eyed him for a long moment, his grey eyes dancing over the long rectangular shape of Danny’s jaw, passing over his pink lips, while his mind turned the thought over and over again. After a moment of silence, he spoke up. “You … you really _don’t_ know who I am?”

 

Danny swallowed the mouthful of whisky he’d just taken a little hard, and forced himself not to splutter, even as TJ’s furrowed brows relaxed into an expression of concern. “Um…” he coughed a little at the burning sensation still in the back of his throat.

 

TJ didn’t catch the guilt in Danny’s one uttered word. He shifted his body slightly, turning on the couch so that he could look at Danny, as he sat with his legs tucked underneath him. “I’m TJ Hammond… Thomas James Hammond?” he tried again. “The first openly gay son of the President? Of America?” He was expecting a look of surprise.

 

Danny grimaced a little, the guilt twisting in his belly. “Uh… I know…”

 

TJ hadn’t been expecting that. His brows lifted as he gazed at Danny, and his heart sank. “But you said… You had no idea who I was when we met—“

 

Danny nodded again, and reached out – he laid his hand tentatively over TJ’s where it was positioned on TJ’s knee. He swallowed tightly around the lump forming in his throat. He didn’t want to tell TJ this part, because he knew it would likely upset the man – and he _really_ didn’t want him to walk out that door again, knowing that this time TJ wouldn’t come back. But, TJ deserved the truth, no matter if it meant that Danny wouldn’t see him again.

 

“I didn’t. I swear, I had no bluidy clue who you were… but I saw the way you looked at me, and how exasperated you were when you thought I knew who you were… So I... I mean I tried to push it aside, but… curiosity got the better of me. I was a parliamentary researcher for years, and I guess I just… couldn’t help it.”

 

TJ’s alcohol induced calm started to burn away as his shoulders pulled back tightly. He swallowed tightly, waiting for Danny to continue.

 

“I figured that ‘TJ Hammond’ was a… pretty common name, so I didn’t think I’d find anything… but… I googled you.”

 

The colour drained from TJ’s face, along with his expression. His eyes, glimmering earlier, turned cold and dead. After a moment, he looked away as he eased out an exhale – a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Oh…”

 

“I’m sorry, TJ, I didn’t meant to invade your privacy, I just wanted to know-“

 

Grey eyes snapped back to Danny’s face. “My _privacy?”_ TJ laughed, bitterly. “ _What_ privacy? My life has been an open book since we moved into the White House. But you must know _that_.” There was a barb of anger in his voice, as he shook Danny’s hand off of his own. “You must know _all_ about me now. The Disaster Prince? America’s Punchline?” he chewed his lip as his eyes burned with anger. But not all of that anger was for Danny.

 

Danny’s gaze softened, sadly, as he looked into the face of this man – so destroyed by the weight of his world resting on his shoulders. Danny tried not to take it personally when TJ threw his hand off of his own. He shook his head gently. “I don’t think you’re a joke, Thomas.”

 

TJ froze – the last time anyone had called him that, it had been one of his family members, and it had been in utter anger at his actions. He didn’t know how to react to the name – it hadn’t been his name in years.

 

“I don’t think you’re a joke, I think that you were dealt an unfair hand as a kid, and you’ve been paying for it ever since.” Danny’s tongue darted out, and he wetted his lips, unable to meet TJ’s burning gaze.

 

“Thomas?” TJ breathed out the name in a barely-there voice, as small as a child. But the beat passed, and he hardened himself again. He’d been wrong to start to open to Danny, and he knew it. “I don’t want, or _need_ , your pity, _Daniel_.” He bit back.

 

Danny shook his head resolutely, and lifted his jaw as he found the nerve to gaze back into TJ’s eyes. “I don’t _pity_ you, TJ. Pity would imply that you have no fault in what you’ve become… but I _am_ sorry that you were dealt the hand that you were. I _am_ sorry that you were put under such scrutiny and punishment as a child. I _am_ sorry that the weight of it all was too much for you to bear, without support.”

 

TJ was frozen in place. He didn’t know what to say – didn’t know how he was meant to react. There had been nothing but blame heaped upon him for years, that he didn’t understand what was happening. Danny neither blamed him (entirely, that is), nor pitied him. He blinked, several times, as he tried to understand what was happening, and what the next course of action was.

 

When TJ didn’t speak, Danny swallowed tightly. “I’m sorry, TJ, I shouldn’t have gone looking. It wasn’t fair to you, and I know that. I should have taken it in stride, when you were relieved that I didn’t have any idea who you were… can you forgive me?”

 

TJ’s mind was a fog of confusion, and alcohol. His brows furrowed as he continued to blink stupidly. “I… I um…” he swallowed tightly, before he licked his lips. “You’re… you’re actually… apologizing… to _me?”_ He lifted his gaze from where it had fallen to Danny’s shirt, and focused on Danny’s face.

 

“Yeah.” Danny breathed a little easier, once TJ finally looked at him. “I shouldn’t have googled you; it was wrong of me.”

 

TJ shook his head slightly in disbelief as the hand that wasn’t still holding a glass of whisky came up and carded back through his dark hair. He glanced off towards the rest of the reception room, trying to make heads or tails of the situation he was finding himself in. His gaze fell over the Tesco flowers, where they sat in the vase that Danny had set them in. They were positioned near the window, so that they would have the morning light when the sun rose the next dawn. And his anxiety eased, loosening in his chest.

 

“I forgive you.” At first, Danny nearly missed the gentle tone of TJ’s voice as he breathed the words out. “I forgive you.” TJ repeated, turning his attention back to Danny. “And I guess if I was in your position, I’d be pretty interested on who the mystery hottie was, too.” He laughed, pulling his mask back into place. To hide the vulnerability with humor; to brush the weight of the situation away before it could _really_ affect him.

 

Danny watched him, and he knew what TJ was doing. But, there had been enough accidental therapy already that night. He wasn’t going to push TJ out of his comfort zone again. Instead, he laughed in response. “You caught me.” He paused a moment. “’s’there anything you want to know about me? ‘s’only fair.”

 

TJ smirked, looking Danny up and down. “Yeah actually… how come a guy like you is single-“ a beat passed, and TJ’s grey eyes widened. “Shit, you _are_ single, aren’t you? I’m not up in someone else’s territory right now?” _‘I don’t really want to jump out the window of the third floor if someone comes crashing in…’_

 

Danny barked out a laugh at the sudden look of terror on TJ’s face. “Yeah, I’m single. No one’s going to throw you out the window, if that’s what that look’s for.”

 

“… how did you –“

 

“TJ, you tried to go out my bedroom window after that night together. I’m pretty sure I’ve got half a mind enough to know you’re used to ducking out quick. But, yeah. I’m single.”

 

TJ shook his head disbelievingly. “How? _Why?_ You seem like a good guy and any woman would be lucky to have you…” he casually dropped the phrase, hoping that Danny would either correct him, or that he’d find out once and for all that he was the only man that he’d been with.

 

Danny glanced sharply at him. He recognized the less than subtle question of his sexuality. Funny, it hadn’t seemed to matter all that much the first time around. He took another mouthful of whisky. “I could ask you the _same_ question.”

 

“Oh, well that one’s easy. I’m gay.” TJ deadpanned. Danny couldn’t help but snort, nearly sending whisky out of his nostrils.

 

“I rather meant why you’re _single_ , you bluidy wanker!” Danny laughed and coughed at the same time.

 

“Oh…” TJ’s shoulders dropped a little as he gazed into the last mouthful’s worth of whisky in his glass. He swirled it around.

 

Danny watched him, and contemplated reaching to refill TJ’s glass as he waited.

 

TJ shrugged suddenly, and knocked back the last of the whisky, before settling the glass on one firm thigh. He balanced it there as he picked up the bottle of Jack Daniels, and refilled the glass, before gesturing to Danny, silently asking him if he wanted more. Danny nodded, and held out his glass, as TJ poured another full glass for him.

 

After taking another mouthful of the rich liquid, he spoke. “Bad experiences, I guess…”

 

Danny didn’t want to press. “I know that feeling…”

 

TJ looked up, and Danny noticed he was almost on the edge of crying. He forced a smile. “Yeah? It sucks, doesn’t it?”

 

Danny nodded, and slipped his fingers into TJ’s free hand. He squeezed gently. “Yeah, it does. You actually start to believe _you’re_ the one that’s at fault. Like you’re some horrible burden to them – unlovable. But, it’s not the truth, you know.”

 

TJ sighed softly. “Isn’t it?”

 

Danny shook his head, “Nope. Just because someone else can’t see your worth, doesn’t mean you’re worthless. It takes a long time to realize that though.” _‘I’m only just getting there myself, thanks to you…’_ Danny thought the last part to himself in the silence.

 

TJ froze as he looked up at Danny. “That … that happened to _you?_ ”

 

“Oh, yeah… it wasn’t great, I’ll leave it at that. Good thing I never married her.” He squeezed TJ’s hand again.

 

TJ squeezed back gently.

 

♥

 

It was a _large_ bottle of Jack Daniels. 1.75 litres, to be precise. Being very nearly two litres, it had given _both_ men three full glasses of whisky, undiluted and uncut, by the end of the night. But the whiskey wasn’t the problem. The problem was that once they’d finished their second glass of whiskey each, Danny decided to make that last part of the bottle last – wanting to keep TJ there with him a little longer – so he’d pulled several beers out of the fridge.

 

They were trashed. That was the most polite way to say it.  Laughing at the most ridiculous stories – half shouted at each other because they couldn’t hear themselves, despite being less than two feet apart. They had to lean into each other to be heard.

 

Their raucous laughter turned into sloppy, bourbon flavoured, kisses. Graceless, all teeth and tongues. TJ reached out blindly, just barely managing to set his nearly empty beer bottle onto the table with the whisky on the rocks glass as he moaned playfully into Danny’s mouth. He dragged Danny closer, by the open collar of his work shirt, as TJ laid back rather gracelessly against the couch arm.

 

It would have to stop at kisses for the night; the amount of alcohol coursing through them wouldn’t allow for more.

 

♥

 

“Oh god, my head…” TJ’s voice was rough, his throat raw, and his head pounding. He was half hanging off of the leather couch, his left leg off the side as he was haphazardly stretched over the length of the furniture. His right foot was up on the arm, while the other arm of the couch was somewhere under his shoulders.

 

He slowly raised his hand to cover his as-of-yet unopened eyes.

 

Danny stirred with a resentful groan at TJ’s movement. It drew him out of his stupor and brought him back into reality – the reality of his pounding headache and cotton-mouthed stuffiness.

 

TJ moved his hand slightly off of his eyes and lifted his head, just enough that he could peek down at the man who was lying entangled with him on a couch much too small for two six foot tall men. Danny’s face was buried into the warm crook of TJ’s neck, and the movement made Danny raise his hand and swat ineffectually him.

 

“Stop moving…” Danny groaned. He just wanted to stay in the cozy warmth of this nest for a few more minutes. The heat of TJ’s body, the softness of the silk shirt, and the lingering traces of cologne were comforting enough that he could ignore the aching in his back and his legs from how he’d twisted in the night so that the couch could accommodate the both of them.

 

TJ stilled beneath him, acquiescing to Danny’s less than polite request, even as Danny nearly smacked him in the face. He tried to relax, to let the warm weight of Danny lying atop him to soothe his aches. But, after a moment, he was reminded that his body didn’t care if he was comfortable, or not.

 

“M’sorry, but I gotta piss.” TJ rumbled as he nudged at Danny, shifting his weight to get the other man to move off of him. The movement put renewed pressure on his bladder, and by the time Danny had half rolled off of him, TJ was up and stumbling to the bathroom – as Danny fell off the couch and onto the floor.  TJ cringed a little as he heard the _thud!_ But there were more pressing matters.

 

When TJ walked back into the living room, Danny had mercifully pulled the curtains closed over the large bay window where the flowers were positioned. In the light of the morning – at least the dull light that still came in through the curtains, TJ finally noticed the mess they’d made the night before, and he blushed a little.

 

Two whisky rocks glasses abandoned on the coffee table, a 1.75 litre bottle of Jack Daniels Old. Number 7 that had been completely drained, and what looked to be four bottles of beer, each. Danny was in the kitchen, shuffling around as he pressed on the pressure points of his sinuses, attempting to alleviate some of the ache. He knew it wouldn’t do any good, as it was a dehydration headache, rather that sinusitis… still it made him feel like he was doing something about it. TJ gathered up the bottles, carefully, so they wouldn’t clink together too horribly. He left the whisky bottle on the table, instead choosing to balance the beer bottles in his grip, and pinching the rims of the rocks glasses together to carry them in his other hand. He quietly made his way into the kitchen, and set the glasses on the side of the sink, before looking around.

 

“Oh…” Danny’s voice was slow and tired. “Under here, sorry.” He pulled open the under-sink cupboard, revealing a hanging garbage bag of glass recyclables.

 

TJ just nodded, and put the bottles into the bag one by one. He wasn’t embarrassed by the night before, so much as he was uncomfortable, given some of the confessions that he had made in his drunken state. Given that he’d said more than he’d planned on.

 

He didn’t know why he’d come to Danny’s last night, uninvited. He’d not been thinking clearly – riding a wave of pent-up sexual energy and low spirits. He’d come here hoping to get laid and having that sort him out. Instead he’d approached it with a hint of romance - and he didn't know why he'd done it. Instead, he'd ended up so drunk that sex was out of the question – kind of difficult to do it when you couldn’t get it up. He’d ended up talking to Danny in a way he wasn’t able to talk to anyone else – not even Dougie.

 

“You okay?” Danny eyed TJ, noticing that the man seemed to have withdrawn into himself.

 

TJ, suddenly alerted to the fact that he was _not_ alone, looked up and forced a smile. His eyes, again, were full of terror as he nodded.

 

Danny sighed softly to himself as he poured a large mug of coffee for each of them. Okay, so maybe last night hadn’t been _ideal_ , but he’d thought he’d maybe got through a little of the shell that seemed to grow, organically, around TJ. He paused, realizing the last time he gave TJ coffee, he hadn’t even bothered to ask how he preferred it. Still holding the warm mug, he glanced at TJ, who was biting on his lip as he sank back beneath the surface of his worries again.

 

“How do you want it?”

 

TJ’s eyes flickered up to Danny’s face again. “Sorry?”

 

“You’re coffee – I realized last time I just handed it to you black, and … well I should have asked how you like it. So, how do you want it?”

 

TJ shook his head, “Black is fine, and it suits my personality…” he half laughed a self-deprecating little sound.

 

“So, with sugar and a bit of milk to cut the bitterness.” Danny deadpanned.

 

TJ blushed and looked away. “Yes, actually…”

 

They stood in companionable, albeit a little awkward, silence as they drank their coffee in the darkened kitchen. As TJ reached the bottom of his mug, he glanced at his watch. It was already getting to be late in the morning. He knew he’d overstayed his welcome, again. Swallowing the last of the coffee, he set the mug down quietly. “I should really be going… I’ve been in your hair too long…” he emphasized his words with a scrunch of his nose and a nod of his head. His voice trailed off as he thought for a moment whether he should apologize or not. He glanced into Danny’s eyes instead. “Thank you…”

 

Danny reached out for him, and gently took ahold of TJ’s wrist before the man could step away from him and walk out of his life again. He’d made that mistake once already, six weeks ago. He wasn’t going to squander the God given second opportunity to have TJ in his life.

 

“You don’t have to go…” His thumb brushed against the prominent bone of TJ’s wrist.

 

TJ swallowed tightly, “Oh… I think I _do_. I came here unannounced and –“

 

“So? I asked you to come in. I asked you to stay the night –“

 

“We were both _pretty drunk_ , Danny… I don’t expect –“

 

“I might have been trashed, but I still knew what I was saying… for the most part. I’m not so sure why I told you the story about stealing Father Christmas’ beard when I was a kid…” he shrugged lightly.

 

TJ smiled gently, but still felt like he was out of place. “I don’t want to get in your way. I’m sure you’ve got things to do.”

 

“It’s Saturday, I don’t have any plans… but… I _would_ like to spend it getting to know you better, if you don’t mind?”

 

TJ shrugged one shoulder, “You’ve already looked me up… there’s nothing more for you to know.” His eyes closed and he shook his head, but his tone was gentle not reproachful.

 

Danny shook his head, “That’s not true. I don’t care what the media says about you, we all know they lie through their teeth – for god’s sake, TJ, I write press releases at least three times a week! We twist facts, we tweak phrases – I don’t for one minute think that half of what the press has said about you is true.” TJ opened his eyes, as a look of saddened defeat evident on his features. Danny pressed on again, “And even if it _is_ all true… That doesn’t change anything. I still want to get to know _you_.”

 

“Danny I’m… I’m not that interesting, really. There’s nothing about me that hasn’t been splashed across every news outlet.” He pushed, just a little. He had already been too open, he had to push Danny back and close the gate again.

 

“Then let _me_ be the judge of that.” Danny smiled and squeezed TJ’s hand gently.

 

_‘I’m afraid that if I let you see me, you’re going to wish you’d never laid your eyes on me…’_ TJ thought to himself, but outwardly sighed and nodded his head. “Alright, I’ll stay for a bit.”

 

Danny broke into a bright grin, too cheerful for their shared hangover.

 

♥

 

“So, what brought you to England?” Danny sat cross-legged in an easy chair, facing TJ, holding a mug of tea in his hands.

 

TJ paused for a moment, and just shrugged his shoulders as he shook his head. “I don’t know, but it seemed far enough away that I could just… escape, for a while. You know?” he glanced up. “Well… maybe you don’t…” he sighed.

 

Danny stared at him for a long moment, gauging the situation. After a moment he spoke up. “That woman I mentioned last night? Kirsty?” TJ met his eyes, and nodded once. “I loved her probably from the day I met her… she was a _disaster_ of a woman. I don’t mean because she liked to party a little too much, because that’s not my business until it affects our work – see, I was training her to be my replacement as parliamentary researcher. No, she was a disaster of a person because she was just… cruel, for the sake of being cruel.”

 

TJ’s brows furrowed. “Then why did you…”

 

Danny shrugged, “I thought I loved her… I was angry about her flaws, but I ignored it because I thought I loved her. And, I guess I kinda figured if I could be what she needed, that maybe she’d love me back…”

 

TJ remained silent, though he looked down at the floor.

 

“Anyway, it didn’t work out. We spent five years together… it was a mess. I didn’t really… I didn’t know who I was by the end. As far as I was concerned, I was just… rubbish. I entertained the idea of just… selling everything I owned and running away.” He half-laughed, though there was no mirth in it. “But I realized I couldn’t leave it all behind like that. I didn’t have the heart to do it.”

 

TJ bit back a bitter laugh. “That’s _exactly_ what I did…I couldn’t take it anymore, Danny. " He almost pleaded, begging for the man to understand him. "The pressure, the attention, the … failure. Everything I did, or do, or _tried_ was always … in the spotlight. I couldn’t do it anymore – not now that my mother’s been re-elected for her second term in office. I just… I guess I broke one day…” he scrubbed at his eyes. “So I sold everything I had. I sold my apartment, I sold the majority of my clothing, I sold the jewelry I had...” he trailed off for a moment. “And I sold my piano.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah I… I had a Steinway & Sons grand piano… my father gave it to me when I was accepted to Juilliard… He was so proud of me…” _‘then…’_

 

Danny got up from his chair and came to sit at TJ’s side. Offering comfort with his proximity, but made no move to touch the other man.

 

“I just… I had to do it. I had to leave. I dropped _everything_ , and everyone… got the next flight to Heathrow that I could, and … well, here I am.” He smiled up at Danny, immediately shifting himself from vulnerable, to charismatic. It was easy for him, like shifting gears.

 

“Here you are.” Danny nodded as he set his mug on the coffee table.

 

“And… here _you_ are…” TJ hinted, as his gaze darkened, watching Danny closely. He reached out with his left hand, and set it on Danny’s knee before trailing his fingers lightly up his thigh. He left the question of Danny’s sexuality off of the table, assuming that the fact that _Danny_ had kissed him suddenly the night before, must have meant he was at least open to it.

 

Danny snorted slightly in surprise, looking down at TJ’s deft fingers working up his inner thigh as his cheeks burned. This time there was no alcohol in his system. He swallowed tightly.

 

TJ leaned closer, brushing his lips against the angle of Danny’s jaw. Danny’s eyes fluttered closed at the soft butterfly kisses. He sighed out his breath softly, as TJ’s hand stilled on his thigh – though he was still kissing his jaw. He felt TJ move, shifting closer, as his left arm went along the back of the couch. His thigh pressed against Danny’s, as his right hand took over from his left – gently stroking Danny’s inner thigh. TJ matched the gentle caresses of his fingers, with soft kitten licks against the curve of his jaw; against his earlobe, and the sensitive place behind Danny’s ear.

 

Danny, panting slightly with pleasure, lifted his hand and slid his fingers between TJ’s where they were draped over shoulder. His other hand raised, and pushed through TJ’s dark hair. He knotted it in his hand, pulling slightly as TJ grinned mischievously against his neck. He scratched his nails over TJ’s scalp, multiple times – remembering how it made the man shudder with arousal.

 

TJ grazed his teeth over Danny’s neck in response, as his fingers slowly lowered the zipper of Danny’s jeans with a quiet metallic _snick!_ As his fingers slowly dipped into the open zipper, he felt Danny suddenly shudder – the movement made Danny tug on his hair a little harder. TJ groaned in his ear, a low rumble of desire, as his fingers found their way into Danny’s boxer briefs.

 

“Do you want to have dinner with me!?” Danny suddenly blurted out – the words flooding from him the moment TJ’s fingers grazed his flesh.

 

TJ pulled back from Danny, dumbfounded. “… What, right _now?”_ he blinked, almost offended. “I’ve got my hand in your pants, and _you_ want to go out… right _now_?”

 

Danny had turned an admirable shade of cerise as he looked back at TJ. “Well… not… _right_ this minute…” he swallowed tightly. “But… maybe… later?”

 

Danny’s hopeful look was enough to make TJ blink in surprise. “You… are you asking me out?” he paused and removed his hand from inside Danny’s jeans. “On a _date?_ ”

 

Danny nodded sheepishly. “I am…”

 

TJ blinked, trying to understand what had just happened. “You… you actually... you actually want to go out with me?”

 

“Yes, I do.” Danny nodded earnestly, still blushing.

 

“And… you don’t _mind_ being seen with me… in public?” TJ licked and bit his lip, barely containing a look of desperate hopefulness.

 

“Nope.” Danny shook his head, causing his dark fringe to sway over his eyes, before he carded his fingers back through it to comb it back into place.

 

“ _Really?_ ” TJ watched Danny closely as he sucked on his bottom lip. He was looking for any signs that Danny might be disguising his true feelings. He found nothing.

 

“Yes –“ Danny didn’t get to finish his thought.

 

Releasing his lip, TJ surged forward, grabbing the fabric of Danny’s shirt where it laid over his shoulders. He pulled him in quickly, pressing a desperate kiss to his mouth. He kissed Danny for all that he was worth, as his hands slid up from the fabric of his shirt and over his neck, as he cradled Danny’s jaw.

 

It was the first time in _years_ that anyone had been willing to be more than just a booty call. The first time in years that anyone had wanted to attach themselves to the train wreck, tabloid target that was TJ Hammond.

 

Danny pulled back from the bruising kiss after a few long moments. He was dishevelled, and breathless, but his heart was soaring. “Is… is that a yes?”

 

“ _Yes._ ”


End file.
